Depression and anger for years, but I feel so much better now
I am in my mid-fifties and have suffered from depression/depression-related anger since my preteen years. Although there were times when the impact on my life was severe, at most times I was able to function at a level acceptable to society. Over the years, I have self diagnosed with alcohol and/or drugs. I have never entertained active suicidal thoughts, but I have had passive suicidal thoughts, and have engaged in very risky behavior. I was a high achiever during my primary and middle school years, became rebellious during my high school years, and eventually dropped out of school after flunking most of my junior classes. I then married, had a baby, and got my HS diploma via correspondence. After that, the synopsis is: divorced, remarried, divorced, remarried, divorced, remarried, and almost divorced again. There were lots of other relationships in between.
In 1998, I graduated Summa *** Laude with a bachelor's degree in Computer Science. Today, I am a productive, confident software developer working for one of the largest banks in the United States. I tell you these things only because I feel that it is important for me to convey to you that intelligence or level of achievement has absolutley nothing to do with depression or other mental disorders. Achievers are not insulated, they can suffer, and they can find help.
It has been more than a year since I started working with Neuro-Therapy Clinic on identifying a program that would work for me. Today, I am more comfortable in this life than I can remember being since I was running around in bare feet, playing children's games. Every day, my belief that I have found what I need in order to feel "right" grows. I hope that you will all have access to this same option.
Neuro-Therapy Clinic did an rEEG (Referencial Electro Encephalogram) on me, after having me discontinue all medications (not just the antidepressant I had been taking for 4 years), allowing them to capture an "unaltered" picture of my brain waves. The results were then matched with known medication responses and several different medication options were provided to the staff at Neuro-Therapy Clinic. It has taken more than a year (and 4 medication options) but today I am taking medication that has given back to me a quality of mental life that I had doubts of ever achieving again.
I encourage anyone that is struggling with their current medications (or lack thereof), to research the options available to them in the rEEG arena. The rEEG database that is available to Neuro-Therapy Clinic in the Denver, CO, USA area is available to other providers. world-wide Use search engines, make calls, do whatever is needed, to find a provider in your area that uses the database, and work with that provider. I hope everyone can find a provider they can work with.