cceb12

Yeah, people might think that it isn't a big deal. But to me.. It deffinately is. I'm 16 years old right now and I have been batteling this since I was 11. I get times when I'll start thinking I'm actually okay but then again the next minute later I am not. I have not discussed this with my parents.I isolate myself away from everyone else. I don not want anyone that I love and care about to worry about me. Because.. come on.. there's more important things in life than me. I'm a helpless useless worthless teenager.All I know how to do is yell and upset my parents. And I'll tell you the 100000% honest truth. It happens.

I don't mean for it too but it does. I lash out at people. I hold everything in. All the pain never comes out besides in my eyes. My mom would look at me with tears in her eyes saying "Chelsea, talk to me." And I'd tell her to leave me alone and mind her own business." It's denial. It's what I'm only in.

My aunt on my mother's side is in the hospital for this depression thing as well. When I was turning 12 I started cutting myself. When I started to cut myself, I tohught the pain would help me bare through it. It honestly helped me but it scarred everyone else. I stopped after a year and a half. Now I punch walls, listen to music and shut down. I cry maybe every night. I get only 3-4 hours of sleep.