Incest and 30 some years of deep depression
everyone. I'm not sure if the incest caused my many years of depression but it sure was a huge factor. Several people in my family also suffered from depression and didn't experience incest.
I was very young
.I would guess between 6 and 8 years old. Anyway, I had a older brother who moved in and out of home. He was in his twenties.
The overwhelming feeling of being dirty and worthless was my identity.
My grades were F's, D's and a couple of C's.
Note: our family was very large. Eight children, there was always plenty of noise in our home. My parents had no clue.
Anyway, the incest ceased but a deep and I mean deep hate
I also became promiscuous when I started dating.
When I was 18 I was hospitalized for depression where they gave me Thorizene.
My life was weird, un-stable and suicidal.
Until one day I realized the deep hate was hurting ME.
I prayed for the Lord to remove the hate and he did but the depression remained.
I found it hard to hold a job because the depression would paralyze me where I couldn't do anything. A dark cloud. The depression would come and go but always hang over my head ready to drop at any moment.
Finally when I was 43 years old I couldn't take it any longer. I walked into Henry Ford hospital and told them of my depression, that I didn't want to live if it meant the rest of my life would be with depression and that I heard there was a new med for treatment. Prozac.
By this time I was surrounded by interns and doctors.
They asked if I was going to kill myself. I said not at this moment but if life continues with this problem I can't go on. They gave me a prescription for Prozac and told me to see my doctor. I didn't have a doctor because I couldn't work full time thus not insurance or income. (I had a abusive boy friend who let me stay with him.)
Within a month of being on the Prozac treatment the depression was gone. Shortly thereafter I started my own business and rid myself of the abusive relationship.
I'm still not a whole person but hey! I'm a heck of a lot better. I started my own businesses deep cleaning homes and most if not all of the really messed up dirty homes I do, are of people who are depressed. I understand and if anyone out there feels or is dealing with depression get help. I'm 56 years old now and havent taken any of the anti-depression pills for at least 10 years. I'm still depression FREE. A little goofy and a tad crazied, but who isn't. God bless and get some help if you or your loved one needs it.
Last edited by Administrator; 05-07-2008 at 01:34 PM.
Reason: removed inappropriate details