I'm 55 now and I started getting depressed when I was 13. I tried twice to comit suicide at that time. I didn't know why I was so unhappy. I blamed kid stuff, like my boyfriend breaking up with me. We didn't have the psychiatric help back then. I never told anyone how I was feeling. I always felt I wish I were dead but I thought I tried twice to take pills and it didn't work so it's no use trying again. My mother was no help either. She would always say you had to be crazy to see a psychiatrist. It wasn't until about 10 years ago that I started feeling better. I started taking Trazodone, an antidepressant, to help me sleep. It didn't take too long until I started feeling better and I realized it was taking an antidepressant that made me feel better. I tried to stop taking it a couple of times but those feelings of wishing I were dead came back. Now I'm happily staying on it. The only fear I have now is I'm afraid I'll run out of the drug and start feeling bad again. There's no chance but I just don't want to feel so bad again.