chewed up ,spat out
My writing is not my best point so please bear with me and i hope you undersand.
My story starts after i had a financial breakdown.
In fear of losing everything ,i regurly thought about suicide,after months of
agonising i finally left with just 2 carrier bags of clothes, leaving behind everything else.
i knew of a hostel where i stayed and some months later
i got a job there , i spent 2 years paying £4 thousand in debt and getting items like stereo ,tv and a new computer.This left me just £500 of debt before getting redundant after 2 years and 6 months.
I signed on and contacted my old boss in a local factory and after 2 months i returned to my old job ,i soon became ill with what i thought was food poisining , i had previously spent 5 years at this job with no problem, a visit to the docter and advice was take paracetmol,not being happy i went to a chemist who suggested i had a kidney infection ,mainly becuase my lower back was killing me at that area,she requested i returned the docter,on second visit to docters i was prescibed anti depressant as i had brokedown during appointmewnt but otherwise i wase to return to work.
after several appopintment i finailly ended up in hospita not being able to pass urine and the cause was kidney infection .
Sent home with a cafeter ,and told to return to docters.
i was issued with a sicknote for approx 10 day and told to return to work.
i started i was still felling not well but my pleas fell on death ears ,after several weeks of going back to work and having days off unwell i was becoming more anxious about my bills especially my rent ,in a state of fear and panick i quit my job voluntarily in order to secure my rent via housing benifit.
The docter was adamment i should not "fester " at the hostel and would not issue a note,the vulture at the benifit office began their campaign ,inconstant fear of losing everything again my whole world was crumbling
housing benifit left me with a £350 pound debt due the the fact they asked for a docters left , my docter would only supply a sick note for the period i had for the cafeter , job seekers put me uner investigetion ,for 4 and a half month my depession got worse as i feared what was becoming my life at risk.
i had panick attacts everytime i had to sign on,.
Eventually on November the 31st i took an overdose and waited to die , for 10 hours i layed on my bed, the overdose cause a problem with my bladder and i had to call 999 to get relief.
In the past week i have seen a psychaiatrist who feels a issue with my child hood may bear some reflection on my on an off depession over the past 30 years , i have changed my docters surgery and to day in irony he refused me medication for my depession and sleeping tablets for my insomia as he felt i was a risk to myself,however he was quite happy to send me back out to the vultures at the benifit office for them to continue to chew me up and spit me out, after some pushing he conceded on the sicknote for 1 month,so after 4 and a half month i can get some much needed rest and reccuperation.
i was due to start a work trial next week but bennifits have onmly paid me 2week money in the last 6 weeks however much i would have wanted to start i would have severe problems as i have no food in fridge or cuppboards