I'm 21 years of age and almost completely hopeless and lost in finding out what is going on inside of me. This trial and error nonsense has gotten old and I can't continue life like this...I am beyond desperate in my situation.
I was only mildly depressed at age 14 and put on effexor XR which I continued until my 1st pregnancy when I was 17. Everything went very well and I had only mild postpartum depression which took me back to Effexor and the depression subsided immediately. Things were fine until I got pregnant with my 2nd child, and at the time was attending community college. I developed severe panic disorder and was treated with Zoloft, which seemed to help with the anxiety. A number of issues followed: the further along that I became, the worse it got. I quit Zoloft, and I had severe psychomotor agitation, RLS, and could not sleep at night. My OB prescribed Ambien CR which significantly reduced all of these symptoms. I literally thought I was dying because I didn't know what was wrong, and the symptoms were all so physical that I could not began to describe them to the extent that any of my docs could understand. After I had the baby, the symptoms hung around, my panic got worse, and I admitted myself into the ER when I had my worst panic attack. I was put back on Effexor, this time it was 150 mgs XR. That plus Ativan, 2 mgs twice daily by my OB. The Ativan seemed to help but I was still severely depressed and the Effexor was doing nothing....I knew it was time to seek psychiatric help. i began Prozac, which agitated me to the point where I wanted to tear my skin apart and I was hearing voices, 1 mg of Klonopin 3 X daily. This helped with the anxiety but I was still so depressed I didn't want to move. My last visit my DR put me on 200 mgs of Seroquel XR. I quit that after about 2 weeks of suffering. I couldn't force myself to move and I became so severely depressed that I didn't want to move, talk, or even be alive. I have had several occasions where I LITERALLY felt like I was going crazy, which numerous mental and physical symptoms. I am also on the Depo Provera shot. A lot of my friends and family have said that I seemed A LOT better before starting that. I'm so desperate in trying to find out what is wrong me. I love my kids so much but its so hard to force myself to get out of bed to take care of them. This is not me, and I have never been or felt this way in my entire life. ...
Hopeless 
