Is There A Reason For Me To Be Here - Share Your Depression Story Message Board

No Sunshine · 01-08-2009, 07:54 PM

For the last 4 years, I have questioned myself as of why I am here. First, my best friend passes, my brother passes, my father gets severely ill and then I lose my mom and during this time I find out that I had cancer too. Now during this time I went thru a divorce, went thru 3 relationships that cheated on me with other women and violently attacked by one of them. All I can say is, "WHY"! Then the end of 2006 I met the man I thought was the one. We enjoyed the same hobby and many other things, and I felt there was a future for us. 2 days before he was going to start moving in with me (Just this January 2009), he said that he couldn't go on. He had so many reasons why and I was shell-shocked on them. He never sat down with me and seriously told me anything was wrong. Scratching my head saying "How the man I love tells me that he loves me and that we are happy together 3 weeks ago and then does this". I have been distraught, confused, angry and torn with every emotion you can imagine. Why am I here Lord. To watch the people I love die, to have people come into my life to destroy my heart every minute, work my rear off every day to save my home. Why am I here. I have no purpose, but I am still here to have horrible things happen to me. I am not asking for any medical advice, but I am just confused why this is happening to me. I am a good person and I would do anything for anyone I love. It just confuses me why all of these horrible things are happening to me when I haven't done anything bad to anyone to deserve this. How much praying can a person do to stop the pain and have the horrible things to stop.

Winnie Day · 01-13-2009, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by No Sunshine

For the last 4 years, I have questioned myself as of why I am here. First, my best friend passes, my brother passes, my father gets severely ill and then I lose my mom and during this time I find out that I had cancer too. Now during this time I went thru a divorce, went thru 3 relationships that cheated on me with other women and violently attacked by one of them. All I can say is, "WHY"! Then the end of 2006 I met the man I thought was the one. We enjoyed the same hobby and many other things, and I felt there was a future for us. 2 days before he was going to start moving in with me (Just this January 2009), he said that he couldn't go on. He had so many reasons why and I was shell-shocked on them. He never sat down with me and seriously told me anything was wrong. Scratching my head saying "How the man I love tells me that he loves me and that we are happy together 3 weeks ago and then does this". I have been distraught, confused, angry and torn with every emotion you can imagine. Why am I here Lord. To watch the people I love die, to have people come into my life to destroy my heart every minute, work my rear off every day to save my home. Why am I here. I have no purpose, but I am still here to have horrible things happen to me. I am not asking for any medical advice, but I am just confused why this is happening to me. I am a good person and I would do anything for anyone I love. It just confuses me why all of these horrible things are happening to me when I haven't done anything bad to anyone to deserve this. How much praying can a person do to stop the pain and have the horrible things to stop.

Hi there 'no sunshine'
I want to tell you that you are a good person and that there is no reason for all these awful things to have happened to you, it's just bad luck. You are in no way to blame and all credit to you that you are still living and loving and worth so much. You have to keep fighting, you are unique and special and have so much to give. I am not religious, but hope your prayers will be answered and things will get better soon. Don't give up - I'm thinking of you and send my love, Winnie xx

AnnD · 01-13-2009, 03:12 AM

I am so sorry you keep having troubles following you around. I can't tell you how many times over the years I have said those same words to myself and of course the discussion with the man upstairs about the Why's of it all. I swear sometimes I think I must of done something very wrong in my other life? LOL. The answer escapes me but perhaps it is so you can share your story with all of us so we all can nod our heads up and down as we remember those very same words and circumstances. I guess it is your turn again....and I am truly sorry.