i had a bit of a hard time growing up a real loner of sorts it wasn't i had no friends cause i did i just didn't have any thing in common with them so i always felt alone even when surrounded by people that wasnt so bad
my troubles started when my dad slept with my 'best' mates mum which caused both familys to split up and unfortuanly i got the brunt of it my mum older brother and younger sister blamed me for it and i know a lot of people say the same thing in my position but they told me it was so for bringing the woman into our lifes after that i was beyond any help for a while
i started by getting in trouble at school where my straight a grades went down to d's and e's and i got into drink and drugs in a big way which led to me getting into trouble with the police by the time i hit 17 i had managed to get off the drugs (and im still clean now 5 years later) but i started self harming then one day i met a lovely young lady who tried to help me as much as she could and she finaly made me realise that i needed some help
she came with me to the doctors where at 18 i was diagnosed with depression and started to see a counseler i was finaly getting back on track 6 months later something happened that changed my life cmpletely and made me reaised what i wanted to do with my life a friend of my brothers asked me for a favor he had a little sister that was self harming and knowing i had been through it my self asked me to speak to his sister i agreed she is an absolute dimaond and with my help she stoped self harming and is now leading a very happy life (witch is something non of her counselers could to)
for a while i was fine i had a good job met a wonderful girl to whom im now engaged to and had a beautiful baby daughter then it happened i lost my job since then it has been a downward spiral which i cant seem to get out of and im suffering again i want to become a counseler and help people as that makes me happy and i know i can to it well but you need a qualification and it costs £500!!!!! to get it and i havent got that sort of money with having no job and a family so im stuck in this downward spiral with no way to get out
You are so blessed to know what you want to do with your life. I know that depression can be a thief that steals our happiness. Can you see that counseler again? The one that helped you before? Please do get help and see someone and see if medication is in order, or if you are on medication, if you need to change it. You have so much going for you. I urge you to get all the help you can to beat this.