Writing this hoping it will be cathartic as I'm getting nowhere running around in my head.
My problems are all of my own making.
Left my wife of 27 years abruptly 10 years ago for an old girlfriend.
Guess you could say it was a mid-life crisis. My (now ex-) wife and I were not happy anyway - or at least I wasn't - and this was a convenient excuse. But, I did a very, very poor job on the separation.
Moved in with old girlfriend same day.
Procrastinated on divorce.
Got a lousy lawyer and got royally screwed in the divorce, including a most burdensome alimony.
Both sons became estranged (youngest was 17 at the time, oldest 19).
Married girlfriend 6 years ago (mostly because her health insurance was about to expire and I had great health insurance).
Have had turbulent relationship with my 2nd wife, at best.
Filed for reduction in alimony, and to have alimony changed from indefinite (part of the screwing of me) to some definite end point. Denied.
Fell behind (no work). Pulled into court by ex. Judge throws me in slammer for lack of $6000.00 back alimony. Court, by the way, is over 500 miles from home ... nobody even knows I'm locked up until the next day. Wife going crazy wondering where I am.
Brother loans me $3000.00 and gets me out 3 days later - but makes me sign a lien on my house (I only have 1/4 interest anyway ... wife put down the downpayment and put the house in her name and her two kids and me ... no argument from me on that ... makes sense).
Try to stay current but work is hard to come by. File again for reduction/change. Not only denied but thrown in the slammer, again. Wife loans me $3000.00 ... then kicks me out.
Stay with my brother for a few months. Stupidly decide to help my sister out by renting a house together. Only thing is ... she is broker than I am so I sign all lease, utilities, etc.
Wife decides to reconcile. I have a right to reconcile with my wife, right?!
Leave sister to get back with wife ... but sister's disability case going slower than anticipated ... gets thrown out of house because I stop paying rent (I did tell her I could only do it for 2 months). Brother rescues sister then threatens to haul me into court to make good on the lien to get his money back because of what he had to spend on sister. Backs off. Threatens again. Backs off. Threatens again. (Wife did not know I signed that paper ... but who'd thunk?).
Things settle down. Brother and sister appear to be OK (sister not talking to me but brother is - after a fashion).
Good with wife. She wants to go to Europe and is spending most of her savings to schedule it (I'm still barely scraping along and starting to fall behind in alimony again).
Wife applies for credit card. My credit in crapper (have 4 cards now in BSI repayment, 1 for emergency use that has 26.9% interest (usury!)), but hers has been stellar. She gets declined. Why? Because I stupidly added her as an "authorized user" a few years ago - which she didn't even want - and it showed up on one of the reporting agency's list. Now I'm
in the crapper with my credit.
Wife concerned about her job (supv been making noises), so she cancels Europe trip. Won't let me be there for her - she's stressed about the job (which she loves) and I want to be there, you know, listen, sympathize, be someone she can talk to about it - because she's ****** about the credit denial. I'm going to try and fix it but it might a a month or two.
Falling behind on alimony again. Sending ex 1/3 of my unemployment to hopefully stave off jail again. Going to refile, but scared of that damned judge.
Last word from my wife to me - I'm the gift that keeps on giving.
One step forward, three steps back.
So ... no future. Except sadness.