| | College is depressing me!
I was an ok student in high school and had lots of friends. THEN I went to college and day after day I got all overly stressed over assignments, couldnít focus in class and was extremely secluded from everyone else. I saw less and less of my high school friends and didnít make any at college. By the end of the second semester I told my parents and friends that I wasnít going to go back. My mom tried to be supportive of whatever I decided to do. Everyone else flipped out and gave me endless grief for dropping out. I felt like such a looser. I broke down several nights not wanting to be a quitter but I knew I couldnít handle college despite having a 4.0 GPA and made the presidents list both semesters. I never even tried for really good grades but the crippling stress of failing ended up getting me good grades. I could have tried to be a little less attentive to my school work but it just stressed me more. The summer after I decided to not go back to school I went on a float trip with some friends and witnessed a horrific car crash and jumped in and help the people in the car till emergency crews arrived. After that everyone suggested that I get my Emergency Medical Tech. license since it was only one class and done kind of thing and I really liked helping those people. I took the class at the technology center and enjoyed every minute of it and got nationally certified and licensed. After getting licensed as a EMT I figured that since I liked EMT school I could probably get a paramedic degree and not feel so stressed. So this past school year I enrolled in paramedic classes at my college. The first semester went ok but then second semester started and the stress and anxiety started to get the best of me. I panicked over every little detail and had mental break down after mental break down. I ended up withdrawing from one class and before I could finish the semester out I lost my job and went through a big move out to the country. I started smoking and sleeping in my spare time because I couldnít bring myself to open a text book. I went and saw my family doctor and he put me on celexa. Then one day I couldnít stand the stress of school and the thought of becoming a failure. I took several bottles of pills and ended up spending a week in the psychiatric hospital. It SUCKED! Now I see a psychologist and take two different anti-depressants and an antipsychotic. it has been 3 months since my hospital stay and I still have school stress issues and still trying to figure things out. THATS MY STORY