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Old 02-28-2013, 07:19 PM   #1
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Soldierofsadnes HB User
I can't fight this feeling.

I always feel worthless. Its been months sense I have actually smiled not just faking it because I'm afraid of what people might think. I have a fiance and all I do is make her feel bad and unhappy with life.

I take no pride in where im at in life, my job, my family, or anything but the one time I start the steps toward it i just told myself I shouldn't that I don't deserve this. I'm pretty sure the last time I felt proud of myself was the day I gradutated basic training for the military. sense that moment I haven't smiled haven't had motivation to do anything but play videogames. Then I came up with a new idea and im sure its what i want to do, but it would brack my loves heart and I can't do that to her. I want to deploy, then deploy, then deploy till I'm too old to be doing anything anymore.

I really am just so worthless and stupid. I can't spell, can't do art. Things I get involved in end up broken or crappy.

I just don't know what else to say. I really just am a mess.

Last edited by Administrator; 02-28-2013 at 08:37 PM.

 
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military, sadness, suicidal, suicide, worthless



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