I can't fight this feeling.
I always feel worthless. Its been months sense I have actually smiled not just faking it because I'm afraid of what people might think. I have a fiance and all I do is make her feel bad and unhappy with life.
I take no pride in where im at in life, my job, my family, or anything but the one time I start the steps toward it i just told myself I shouldn't that I don't deserve this. I'm pretty sure the last time I felt proud of myself was the day I gradutated basic training for the military. sense that moment I haven't smiled haven't had motivation to do anything but play videogames. Then I came up with a new idea and im sure its what i want to do, but it would brack my loves heart and I can't do that to her. I want to deploy, then deploy, then deploy till I'm too old to be doing anything anymore.
I really am just so worthless and stupid. I can't spell, can't do art. Things I get involved in end up broken or crappy.
I just don't know what else to say. I really just am a mess.
Last edited by Administrator; 02-28-2013 at 07:37 PM.