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Old 05-27-2013, 09:19 PM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: oklahoma city, oklahoma, usa
Posts: 43
popsickletoes HB Userpopsickletoes HB User
New to loneliness

Hello,
I'm,a 60 ish female, married 43 yrs to my high school sweetheart. Doesn't sound like a typical story of lonliness does it?
Well, like I said, I'm new to this. My husband is a sweet man. However, at the end of my day he says hello and heads straight to the computer,yard,or guitar for hours.
My adventure into lonliness began with surgery that has kept me pretty much bed bound for six months. Hopefully this will end soon.
I thought I knew what lonliness was. I was a babe in the woods.
I never appreciated people like I do now.
There were dozens of promises before the surgery to take me to the mall, the movies, the moon. None of them transpired. Sometimes there would be an excuse. But mostly, I never heard from anyone again.
I got two cards, both of which dissolved me to tears. Even rare, occasional texts were treasures. Before I even looked forward to surgery. I don't make friends easily.
But, I soon learned its just something people say. Like, I'm fine, or how's the weather?
I sleep alone, can't explain, has to do with the surgery.
But, compared to a lot of people, my experience is relatively short, and I have learned so much.
I now know the value of a text, card or letter.
Most people don't want grandiose experiences. They just want contact with another human being.
Contact gives us validation as our worth in the world. I'm a religious person but now know our joy is horizontal as much as it is vertical.
When this is over for me I refuse to forget the experience.
I'm much more forgiving and loving. It beats counting ceiling tiles any day.
I'm joining a place of worship and becoming involved, once I can drive.
I'll remember to text, visit and send cards. I refuse to become bitter. I tried that once. Spewed all over someone whom I was sure was going to make good on her promises. Instead I got no appolgy,but a very long scolding. It hurt. I was thoroughly heartbroken by this time.
But I refuse to wallow in it.
From here on out I will do my very best to be a blessing to others.
ESP to those homebound.
Before now I never knew the real value of human interaction.
I recently asked forgiveness from someone who was bed bound for a very long time. I was shocked at how quickly she forgave me.
For me it turned out to be the opposite... Instead of learning to love myself before I could love others, I learned to love others and in the process, began to start loving myself.
God bless to all who are lonely. May it not last long.

 
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