Don't tell people my problems so doing it this way
Well as the title says...that's me. Don't tell people how my life is or why I'm feeling sad, I'm sure nobody wants to be bored by what I got to say so don't bother. At least this way I can maybe vent a bit. Basically it's all to do with my son who is coming up to 18 and has been depressed for the last 4 and a half years. So when it all started I think I was strong enough to do what I can, many agencies became involved with him to help as they saw fit, but everyday his sadness and depression and having a husband who either didn't really understand or didn't seem to care got me down more and more. I think with the hubby he just didn't know how to deal with it so it was me doing and dealing with it all. I started getting more down, crying all the time and at the slightest thing. As my son would maybe have a good few days so I would feel slightly better but every time he went down so I did too, but every time his mood came up mine couldn't follow as well. Having a really horrendous time with him now and once again I feel alone. I've obviously totally failed him as a mother and I hate myself because he's so sad. I've never liked myself anyway but now it's pure hate. I just wish for him to be well but I don't know that he ever will be and it's probably all my fault. I'm disgusting. I hate myself.