midnightsun

It is discouraging to have failed the 1st ICSI. I mean ICSI is like the last resort of IVF.

According to the embryologist, our egg didn't divided as expected, possibly due to the egg quality and the sperm.

Me: 31 PCOS
DH: 31 low sperm,morph,mobility
Acupuncture for infertility as well
Retrieved 9 eggs only 2 fertilized.
Had to transfer on day 3:cells only divided to 4 (which is not good)
Kept positive thoughts!
Negative pregnancy test: June 3, 2009

It is a waiting game and I hate waiting. Everyone around me is getting pregnant and people are asking "are you pregnant yet?". I wanted to scream STFU but I can't. I just hate going to work now. I don't want people to know my husband and I am undergoing ICSI. Make me feel useless. The only moral support I could get if we failed again is "oh, I'm sorry". I know they may meant well but it's worse than saying nothing at all..

We'll be meeting RE on 6/22/09 with some test on my DH : cystic fibrosis, Y chromosome deletion. Hopefully test result will not interfere with our 2nd attempt for ICSI. I don't know what we would do without not being able to have children. Both my DH and I love kids and we are sick of borrowing nieces and nephews from our brothers and sisters. grrrrrrrrr!

I don't think God ever punishes us like this for our past wrong doing but my DH curses him for this. I'm afraid God might punish us now. haha...not funny, I know...

Barely sane

Anyways, I just needed to let this out...thx. for reading...