when does it end

[John 3:16]

Howard,

If you "drop back in here" just wanted you to know I have been thinking of you! I am SO SORRY you have had such a rough go at it but I have no doubt you will make it (I know- little comfort when you are in the midst of what you are in!)! Just continue move forward and know my thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you! You will be happy to know I no longer take ANY (even though I took just 2 or 3 a week) Xanax- started on a different antidepressant (as I have suffered from depression long before my opiate addiction) and it has really helped with my panic attacks/anxiety! I am even sleeping 5-6 hours a night! Thought that might be music to your ears!

I am almost three months clean with the exception of taking 2 or 3 pain pills throughout some surgical procedures but my addictionologist approved that! I have just had cervical cancer removed and suffered a painful blood clot- have really been "tested!" I managed to stay clean even though I was faced with a very scary situation! I give God all the glory though! I still am having a rough go at it- lethargic, lack of motivation, and general "blahs" every now and then but my addicitonologist said those are the last things to fall into place! No "high on life" feeling yet, but am looking forward to it!

Anyway- you hang in there and if you'd like- drop me a little post and let me know what's going on! Again, hang in there, my friend!

Best wishes and God bless,
michelle

[no patience]

thanks windysan

[no patience]

hi michelle i haven't talked to you in a long time hope all is good luv kelleigh

[Brenda1953]

I'm a newbie who originally posted here a couple days while beginning a morphine CT.

However, I have been off benzos for over a year now. 4-6 mgs of Xanax a day which I realize is not a huge dose but not too shabby either. I took it for 5 years.

I did start with the Ashton protocol. I did not follow it specifically. To be honest, at first my brain was so fogged I couldn't even figure out the switchover plan.

So I started with 40 mgs of valium. She would recommend 80, a 2 to 1 ratio. I was a zombie!! Valium is a way different drug. Much more sedating. So I cut it to 20 and that worked for me.

Yes, I had wd symptoms but nothing unbearable.

I then cut pretty rapidly at first. I cut the dosage in half every two weeks til I got down to 5 mgs then slowed it down. Toward the end at 3 mgs, I just thought I want this poison out of my body. It took me probably 8 months all told. It's a long haul. I kept reading that it's not a race and it's important to keep that in mind becuase it does go slowly.

Valium is very long acting. I think it's half life can be as long as 200 hours. That was the rationale behind Dr. Ashton's protocol. That the drug would metabolize so slowly, the wd would be minimized.

Anyway, I switched to restoril and tapered down to 7.5 mgs and quit. Restoril is a big nothing in the benzo world. I really couldn't even tell I was taking it. And when I stopped, my symptoms got no worse.

It was a long unpleasant trip but does not compare to this nightmare of narcotic wd, IMO. I was never this sick. Sure, I had anxiety, insomnia, little electric shocks, etc. Who cares? I just ignored it.

And trust me, I'm not trying to start the argument of which wd is worse. Just relating my personal experience.

Nor am I trying to belittle anyone's experience. I know many people have had horrendous benzo wds. It seems to be an individual thing.

The bad news is that it seems to rewire your brain permanently. Over a year later and I still suffer from occassional panic attacks and almost daily insomnia. I know they say it doesn't cause permanent brain damage but you can't prove it by me. Maybe it takes longer than a year.

So get it off it now. Do not listen to the doctors. Listen to us who have been there.

I loved that Xanax buzz BTW. All the worries of the world just floating away. I think Xanax may be the only benzo that does that. I have pretty much tried them all.

Brenda

[howard678]

Originally Posted by John 3:16

Thought that might be music to your ears! michelle

Michelle, hearing from you in and of itself is music to my ears. And the fact that there are people here wondering where I am, how I am doing means a lot to me. It is not something I get much of anywhere else at this moment. This is a bummer, am very vulnerable to stress and sometime I can think my way around it, sometimes I cannot. Sometimes I just get hit with a wave of symptoms out of the blue. I am no longer working, and shortly, am going to taco bell then sit on the back porch for a hour or so.

I have only two directions to go here, forwards or backwards, backwards means staying on the drugs and increasing doses, forwards means getting on off. I`ll be off in about 3 weeks then perhaps the real fun will begin, or I may get off easy. We will see. Hope all the rest of you are okay.

Brenda,

Your benzo story is very interesting, as your benzo withdrawals were not so bad for you and that gives me hope. Yet just as I was jumping for joy you speak of your brain being permanently re-wired and experiencing panic a year off. Wonderful! It is those sorts of testimonies that I avoid at another site. Makes you want to stay on. Like how can a downer (Xanax/Valium) be so destructive? I wish they had not banned the qualludes, the favorite of my youth. Jennita was okay in about 6 weeks but has had long term insomnia. Where are you at Jennita? I down to 7.5 mgs of V.

P.S. Brenda Valium is much more sedating than Xanax at first but that typically ends in about 5 weeks. Did with me.