A loved one gives up

[MarcosP]

Hi guys,

My dad has stage IV NSCLC, spread (at least) to the bones. Since his doctor was not very cooperative, I got a second opinion (and actually, a third one too). They both say the mets are advanced and since he's very thin/weak it might not be worth doing chemo, it would be nice taking radiotherapy to alleviate pain, though. I thought I should be sincere and tell him the whole truth but now he refuses to take any treatment, and he thinks the morphine will be enough to relieve his pain. It's very hard for me to accept that, but should I in the end respect the patient's decision ? Has anyone of you been through similar situations ? I'm also pretty scared on how will the disease develop, if left almost untouched like this.

Thanks a lot, Marcos.

[-Cheryl-]

Has your doctor mentioned the drug Tarceva (Iressa) or discussed a clinical trial?
Jack

[MarcosP]

Originally Posted by -Cheryl-

Has your doctor mentioned the drug Tarceva (Iressa) or discussed a clinical trial?
Jack

Thanks for the answer !

I don't think any clinical trials are available in the area where he lives, and he refuses to move somewhere else: I guess he wants to spend his last days in the countryside anyway. I fully understand that but it's kinda hard for me to accept.

I'll ask his oncologist about Tarceva though ... I've heard mixed results about it but it might be worth a try. What scares him about chemo is the side effects, but if the doc sees any hope I'll try to convince dad to give it a go.

[ScarlettA]

Marcos - I know exactly what you mean when you say that your dad has given up the fight. My friend, with nsclc has also refused to do chemo, or to use any device that will help him to breath more easily. He did complete his radiation treatments about 10 days ago, but now feels like they did no good whatsoever. He even refuses any tests that will determine if, and where the cancer has spread. He says he doesn't want to know.
You didn't say how old your father is? My friend is 70.

[MarcosP]

Originally Posted by ScarlettA

Marcos - I know exactly what you mean when you say that your dad has given up the fight. My friend, with nsclc has also refused to do chemo, or to use any device that will help him to breath more easily. He did complete his radiation treatments about 10 days ago, but now feels like they did no good whatsoever. He even refuses any tests that will determine if, and where the cancer has spread. He says he doesn't want to know.
You didn't say how old your father is? My friend is 70.

Hi Scarlett ! My dad is 75. I advise your friend to at least take the exams, my father had a bone fracture due to bone mets, that might have been avoided if he had taken the proper exams. I think it might be hard for your friend to accept it, but maybe some antidepressants could also help.