Dementia?

[ToBeFreeToRoam]

Hi Kim,

If you have not already, you and your dad need to either buy an alzheimers caregivers book or check a couple out from the library. This would really help you! Just do not let your mom see them.

But, You Have To Talk To Her Doctors Now!!! For your moms sake, but especially for you and your dads sake!!!!! If you do not, yall are just going to go beserk! I know that I would. You need to get her an appointment ASAP!!! Trick her to get her there, if you have to. I am afraid for your dad especially, because he seems to be the most affected by her bad behaviour. Which of course, she probably cannot control.

Call, Tomorrow and talk and then write a letter, so the docs can get it next week. And then get her set up to go to 1 or 2 doctors for the new year. I would guess first her family doctor, then he/she might refer her to a neurologist, who would then do the tests. Do not put it off any longer. I fear for all 3 of yall mental health.

Take care and good luck. The other ladies know what it is like, my dad is not to that stage yet, but it sounds almost unbearable. She needs help, and perhaps medicines.

Love, Wannabe

[fourt9rkim]

Thanks, Wannabe...I know that I need to do SOMETHING, and soon. The problem is....that she will REFUSE to go to a neurologist, simply because she doesn't want to have an MRI. She is claustrophobic, and even though I've told her that there are now 'open' MRI's, she just won't have it. Her orthopedist wanted to refer her to a neurologist a couple of years ago, because of terrible pain she was experiencing in her back, shoulders and hands, plus the fact that she often loses her balance. *Thank God she hasn't fallen yet*. But when she found out about the MRI, she never went.

My older brother was on the phone with her last night when I got home from work, and she said he told her that she needed to see the doctor because she isn't remembering things like she once did. Maybe with it coming from him, who doesn't live with us, and will be moving out of the state for good on Thursday, it will tell her that it's not just us saying that she needs help. He's coming over for dinner tonight to say goodbye to us, so maybe it will come up in the conversation again.

I printed out some things from this forum yesterday, and had dad read them. He said it sounded just like her. I plan on printing out more things that I think will be of help to give to him. I'm so glad I've found this place....I was beginning to think I was the only one going through this.

This is by far the hardest road I've ever had to travel...it helps to know there are other travelers on the road with me.

[Martha H]

That's how I felt when I found this Board. I had been feeling very much alone! Then I started to read posts from people far worse off than I was. That helped me a lot. Plus a lot of moral support and understanding, and the 'no guilt' concept.

Too bad your brother is moving away. Whatever happens, he will need to contribute to Mom's further care, whether at home or in an institution.

I wish you all the best!

Love,

Martha

[fourt9rkim]

Thank you, Martha....it really helps to come here and get to know everyone and their similiar circumstances, and how to better handle it.

I'm glad my brother FINALLY said something to her...he's been staying out of it, but offering support to dad and I. He has noticed changes in her each time he visits, so he knows that something is not right.

And I'm afraid that she is going to refuse to take one of her pills today....Diovan for heart failure. She had a pretty bad bout of diarrhea this morning, and she believes that it is the Diovan that is causing it....just because she saw diarrhea as a side effect on the med info that I printed out for her. The last time she refused to take it for a day after diarreha, she was on the edge of the bed all night, yelling at dad, and calling him all kinds of names.

I offered to call her cardio to tell them what happened, but she said that they will want her to come in, and she doesn't want to do that. This is one of the most stubborn, old-school women I've ever come across in my life. She believes that you don't 'bother' the doctor before your next appointment, which in this case is February 23! I hope she will refuse to take her med during dinner this afternoon, so my brother can see her doing it, and maybe he will say something.

[victorino545]

I agree with everyone else on the board, your mom needs to get help. If your dad or brother cannot do it then you might need to step in. There are so many medications out there and I am sure one of them would probably be really beneifical to her. Maybe she will not have to have a MRI right away, let the doctors know how paranoid she is of having one. My husband ended up in the mental ward and that's when they evaluated him. Because he was out of control they put him on medications to settle him down and then did MRI. It worked, he went through the MRI and was very calm. Now that they have him on the right medications we have been able to handle him a lot easier. It was a big change and now he seems to agree with everything. So please get some help.
Diane