Mood Swing

[Sandyspen]

I'm not certain, but I think I might have figured this out. We hadn't had any problems with mom's anger or raging since going on Zoloft.

Thursday was horrendous! It got more vile with cursing and demanding and accusing. I bit my lip and listened, did not escalate it. Then she said she thought I was poisoning her. She had never been sick a day in her life and did not need pills. Why was I giving her pills?

I did remind her of the dizzy spells and the blood pressure. Nope, she said I was a liar, she was never sick. Said, she knew what was really in those pills..................argh!!!!!!

Every morning, I place her pills in a cup on the table. She always sits in the same place with lots of toys on that end of the table, coloring books, search n find, playing cards, etc. We always have our morning coffe together and just chat. I never thought to make certain she was taking those pills, just see that the cup is empty later.

So last night I'm cleaning around that area of the table and find a couple pills. She hadn't been taking them at all. Stashed among coloring books and crayons, I found Zoloft, the blood pressure meds and the Meclizine.

Good grief! Without Zoloft in the beginning, it was unbearable and I don't know how many she's not taken now. If she thought I was poisoning her.........

I just can't believe it. You know, I would rather have her under someone else's care than to have her think that of me. I was just devastated. We think we're doing our absolute best, and here i am........she wasn't even getting her meds.

[Martha H]

Yes. She may or may not even know that she hid them among the coloring books. If she thinks you are trying to poison her, she will not take her meds. How can you get her to take them? I wish I had an answer for you. Not everything can be mashed up in applesauce ... but it is serious to just leave them out. This is one more reason to get help for her, professional help. If the NH suspects a person isn't taking their meds, a nurse stands there until they have all been swallowed. Usually the patient accepts the nurse as an authority, while a daughter is just 'meddling in Mom's business'.

I'm glad you found the reason for her behavior, and hope you can also find a way to stop it!

Love,

Martha

[Sandyspen]

I did try that this morning, standing and watching and she took it when she knew I was watching. But, yes, I know that I can't do it. Finally..........

She hadn't had any of the screaming rages in front of my husband until this morning. Oh my.......he was upset.

He called my brothers, we have a list of those small group homes in our area, and they are all out visiting them today!

We're going to do all the checking we can. But I know that I'll have to let-go and place her in the next couple weeks. The rages are escalating to the point of being afraid to be alone with her now.

I'm just trembling at the thought. I can't believe it has come to this.

[cyt]

Just when I thought I was having a bad day..... I read your post. You dear thing, it's horrible to go through! My best friend's Mom had AD and no matter where she lived would always, always say she wanted to go home and she would start packing her things. One night she did leave the senior apt. complex and they had to call the police. It was frightening, to say the least. They finally found her outside wandering around. Shortly after that they placed her in an assisted living place. I wish you the best finding a place for your Mom and having the nerve to get her there. You will be going on a guilt trip for awhile. It's only natural. But you've done your best and that's all anyone can do. Keep us posted. Cindy

[BarbaraH]

Sandy, it is hard to believe a sweet little lady could become a ball of fire, isn't it?? I well remember! I hope today's search found a safe haven for your dear mother.

My Mom didn't want to leave her home either, but I prevailed. She did love her pretty apartment with her LR, DR, and BR furniture and the sunshine at the ALF. She soon forgot that she wanted to go home and forgot her car. She was happy there and that is how she forgave me for taking her home and car away and relieved my guilt.

7 months later, my mother wandered away from her ALF at about 9pm one night and was found walking in the middle of the street, using her walker and full steam ahead. The person who found her was a night shift employee at the ALF (thank you, Jesus!) and she stopped her car, got Mom and her walker inside, and took her back. I got a call the next day that she'd have to be moved to a locked unit since she'd gotten to the wandering stage. Up until then, Mom had stayed inside after dark and talked with whoever was working at the front desk! A week later we moved her to a NH with a locked unit. Her world had shrunk to a shared room and a day room. I had never considered that a locked unit would be needed - especially just 8 months since she had lived alone and driven her car. It just broke my heart, but Mom was as happy as duck in water in that small setting. She was happy. What more could I ask for?

Wishing you all well as you struggle to let go of the duty you see as yours because you're the daughter or the responsible daughter. As has been said, the safety of an ALF or NH lets these loved ones relax and stop their struggle to function in an upside down world.

Blessings all - Barbara