HOME DETOX RESCUE OPTIONS

[calforney]

Ok:
Here I am again, 23 months after going through detox and rehab from Benzos and hydros. I was using them by docs increasing prescription because I have a severe case or Restless Legs Syndrome. They worked, so I thought what the heck. Accelerated the dose because of tolereance to the point of abuse. Lost my job because of abuse. I was clean for 17 months, blew a calf muscle playing racquetball and went to a doc in the box. PUT ON MY CHART THAT I WAS IN ADDICTION RECOVERY. He prescribed soma and hydro for the pain any way. Like an idiot, I filled them both.

Did OK for awhile, but went back to my sources for hydro. Been on them again for 6 months. At one time I was up to 10-12 a day. For the last couple of weeks it's been 5-6. I tried tapering. Didn't work. Decided to go cold turkey. I filled one last hydro prescription to do the taper "right." Listen to how smart I am: I bought valium 10s to help me sleep and with the restless legs as went through home detox. I haven't taken more than 2 per night for less than a week. But I've got a a very large supply of those.

Now I'm out of hydro as of last night. Used my last 3. So here I am ready to go cold turkey. Nobody knows this but me. I can't stand the shame of my wife knowing that I've relapsed. One lucky thing is that because of my job, we live apart during the week, so she only sees me on weekends or every other weekend. (Probably one of the reasons I decided it was OK to use again.) Even though I was down to about a 6 a night (didn't use during the day, only in the evenings), I've already started with the body aches, flu-like symptoms, restlessness, agitation, the whole nine yards.

I know I can do this. Even when I went through rehab under the doc's care the last time, it was pretty much cold turkey...no anti-depressants, no kind of medicine to help with the wd...two weeks of hell. The doc kept saying, "No one every died from lack of sleep or body aches." So I just toughed it out.

The kicker is that I am a well-known man, in a small town area and the AA/NA thing is a no go locally. I was put out of my profession for a year and just got back in. If it becomes known that I relapsed by my superiors, I'm done.

I'm ready to go cold turkey. I called in sick today and am ready to ask for two weeks vacation to get over the "flu."

I've read some of the helps listed above. Just want to know how effective they are and what else I can do?

I need some help, advice, and encouragement. Please. I feel so sad and so lonely, not to mention the shame. I promised myself and everyone I love that I would never be here again, and yet here I am. God, I need help and there is no one, no friend, no one I can think of that I can talk to about this mess

I'm on Cymbalta (anti-depressant), Trileptal for axiety (an epilepsy drug), and a small dose of mirapex for the restless legs that is decreasing in its effectiveness. I am not suicidal, but I am so depressed and so alienated, My job is a "help others" job and I smile and am pleasant to get through the day, but as I am coming off the hydro, at home it's tears and walking the floor for how stupid I am. How can I be so dumb having been through this so recently. I understand if no one replies. There's good advice above. The pain, along with the shame and isolation of living alone six days a week is awful when I'm sober. It's even worse battling this addiction.

[jam338]

Hi Calforney, prayers are with you for a successful outcome. As to how effective the OTC detox options are....they have helped many many people successfully achieve detox; but there are certain things on the list that you can NOT take if you are on SSRI anti-depressants; those things are noted. I am not sure what other precautionary concerns you should have since you stated you are on epilepsy medicine. Hopefully others who are medically knowledgeable can comment. I am NOT a medical person. You stated that you have previously detoxed from Benzos and Hydros, so you know what to expect. And, you already know that detoxing from Benzos is a detox from pure hell, far worse than Hydros, so this detox should not be as bad. Also, Benzo detox has grand mall seizure risks that don't typically exist with Hydro detox. So, if you were able to accomplish it before, you will be able to accomplish it again. Since you mentioned rehab in your post I am assuming your previous detox was inpatient? Did they prescribe or provide any special treatment for you that you need to incorporate into your home detox plan?

Everybody's body chemistry is different so it is trial & error to find what works for your own body chemistry. Those planning to home detox need to shop in advance and have WD coping options ready and available, because once full blown WDs begin you are not likely able to leave the house. You are wise to plan your time regarding work so that will relieve that worry. This is a bad flu season all over the country so you can easily pretextually use that both at work and at home. Its great if you can get 2 weeks off work. As you know, the worst of the detox will usually take a week, with about 2 days of that, usually Days4-5 or 5-6 being the worst, but the other days are no picnic. Afterwhich you will be absolutely exhausted, no energy, and may have some depression....the following week is your build back week with good nutrition, exercise, rest, nutritional supplements, hopefully a massage or two, and lots of water. It will help you to post your experience/feelings. You will not be alone. This Board has many caring people who have been through or are going through exactly what you are going through. Many will help support you through this.

[calforney]

jam338
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REPLY. I can hardly type for tears in my eyes that finally I've been able to "talk" to somebody about this relapse. My rehab last time was out-patient with no meds to counter-act the effects of wd. Just "talk therapy" and c/t.

The epilepsy med I'm on is not for personal epilepsy. I'm not an epileptic. The doc prescribed it after detox because one of the side effects of the trileptal is that it is has mild anti-anxiety effects.

I'll review your list above and make a shopping trip tomorrow (tonight maybe if I can't sleep - WalMart is open 24/7) My wife called just after my first post. I feel so bad about betraying her trust. She has been so great and so supportive and knew I would kick this...and here I am again. God, the guilt. Here's my deeper confession, if you don't mind hearing it: my "helping people" job is that I'm a pastor. What a hypocrite I am. Yesterday after church services, a parishioner stopped me to talk about her son's addiction. Oh, I had lots of good things to tell her. It was all I could do not to blurt out, "I'm an addict." I need so much for someone to talk to...I'm hoping this forum I just found this afternoon will help.

I promise, I'll read very carefully your list above so that I don't do myself more harm. Right now, the body aches and headaches, the restlessness and anxiety have kicked in large. This is the time of night I always dosed up, so I can tell it's going to be a long night.

Thanks so much for responding...for caring. If you are a praying person, please pray too, (as I will be praying and not just for myself, but for all the other poor folks on this forum trying to get clean and sober.)

I've book marked this site on my laptop. I'll be spending lots of time reading here, I'm sure, in the coming weeks/months.

Thanks again for letting me know there's someone out there who cares as much as one can care for someone you don't even know.

[gully4mile]

lucky you, on xanax, and thanks for warning readers---vs. any benzo or neuroleptic (super-benzo) opiates cause no permanent harm, WD may be hell, but you don't lose your limbic system (chemical lobotomy some 'authorities' say)---and you don't have aYear's taper to WD---followed by continuing WD episodes 'till dead---Sweden allows 8 month's paid hospitalization for long-term benzo users---'Stevie Knicks of Fleetwood Mac' was amazed at months of hospitalization for klonopin vs. a week for opiate addicts---for them it may be over, for her or i---doubtfull---in fact, as a recent Canadian study showed, serendipitously, opiates may be the benzo detox method of choice---thank you for stern warnings on xanax (librium, valium, klonopin, ativan, etc.) These common drugs really do make opiate WD look like a cakewalk---you don't know, till you're there---so i expect no understanding of greater evils---

[shelley2977]

CALFORNEY, AFTER 2 1/2 YEARS I AM ON MY 7TH DAY WITHOUT MY 6-7 NORCO. I BELIEVED THAT I COULD NOT GO WITHOUT IT. YOU AND I ARE NO DIFFERENT. I AM ALSO ON THE CYMBALTA AND I GOT SOME ATIVAN AND AMBIEN TO HELP ME SLEEP. I TAKE HOT ,HOT BATHS FOR THE LEG PAIN. I UNDERSTAND BEING ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. I THINK IN SOME WAY WE ARE ALL ASHAMED ABOUT ONE THING OR ANOTHER IN OUR LIVES. I WISH FOR YOU THE FAITH THAT GOD REALLY CAN GET YOU THROUGH THIS. I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH STAGE 3 BREAST CANCER IN 2003. I WENT THROUGH &%*&^ING HELL WITH CHEMO AND RADIATION AND I HAD 5 SURGERIES. I AM TOLD BY MY DOCTORS I HAVE A 1 IN 4 CHANCE OF DYING OF THE DISEASE. I'M 48. THE NORCO NOT ONLY TOOK AWAY MY PHYSICAL PAIN BUT IT MADE ME FORGET THAT I HAD CANCER! NOW WITHOUT THE FOG OF THE NORCO I FEEL LIFE. IT'S SCARY!
I HAVE TO TRUST THAT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME AND I CAN ONLY EXPERIENCE IT IF I AM CLEAN. I BELIEVE HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOU TOO. I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP TONIGHT AND CAN FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR BEING HUMAN. SHELLEY