Benzo withdrawal

[vmom]

Sorry to barge in.........I've been taking 25 mg to 30 mg Valium for 13 years. When I got pregnant 4 years ago, I stopped and had no w/d affects. Was this a fluke? I knew I was pg very early in my pg, had been trying. Before finding out, I may have taken only 10 mg a day.

I'm now back taking them again (as I can get them easily from my doc). I would like to be free of all pills (I also take 40 mg of vicodin daily for endo).

With Valium, 30 mg a day, should I taper off - I never knew it was that dangerous to just quit. Also, is Valium then the "light" benzo on the scale, it seems to be per the first post in this thread.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated. I've been lurking for a long time here and have only posted a couple of times as I am working on a vicodin taper from 40 mg daily - I'm on 35 mg this week.
Thank you.
Elizabeth

[jam338]

Hi Elizabeth, you are not barging in!!! Well it sounds like you are one lucky lady that you didn't experience WDs with the Valium, and yes, it does sound like a possible fluke. Everyone's body chemistry is unique so who know what you may have that protected you with it; but thank your lucky stars for it because benzo detox is horrible and can be life threatening, rare, but real. Because of the seizure risks a slow taper is best. When I detoxed from Xanax I did the Valium bridge taper and added Taurine which supposedly helps protects against seizures. I also used other OTC WD Coping Options as outlined in the Sample Home Detox Post which can be found at the top of the Board main page as a sticky post. Sounds like you have a good rapport with your doctor so you might consider discussing your concerns with your doctor and asking him/her to help you taper. For me, I had no luck with my doctor. He didn't have a clue, and was not interested in doing anything to help me, but to continue to prescribe drugs that I desparately wanted off of. Hopefully, your situation is different. While medical consultations are encouraged, have awareness about how you state things with your doctor regardomg documentation of things permanently into your medical record that could in some instances in the future become questioned as you pursue life insurance, health insurance, or health employment certifications.

I don't think that any benzo can be described as "light". They are all very rapidly addictive and one of the most difficult drugs to detox from. Valium likely has a more successful taper potential because it has longer half-half life, meaning it leaves your system much slower and over a longer period of time which narrows the peaks and valleys of WD. For those on a short acting benzo like Xanax, converting to a bridge taper long acting benzo like Valium stabilizes the taper and helps with WDs.

Good luck in your decision

[vmom]

Thank you for taking the time to reply Jam.

I'm a bit overwhelmed with all the information I am reading on these bb's. I never considered myself addicted until I started counting pills. I realized then something was wrong. I was prescribed the Valium to get through a death in the family and my doctor just keep prescribing them. I don't even go to his office, he mails me the script and I send him a check (he's been my doctor since I was 13). He thinks I need them - I used to work at a very stressful, high profile job and the stress was more than I could handle at times. But I quit the Valium when I had my son. Then I went through a series of family deaths, and so on, and my doctor said the Valium would help me cope.

I don't even think I feel anything when I take one. I do feel them if I take 20mg at one time, but that is very rare. (sorry to be editing but I'm paranoid that someone will read this and know who I am, weird.). I just want to be normal.

I would never have thought of documentation on my medical records...............thank you for pointing that out to me. I held the same position for 20 years, before staying home with my son. One day I was counting my vicodin and valium and I said "that's it". Think about your son. I definitely have short term memory issues.

I will now count my lucky stars that my son is here and well with no health issues as a result of my Valium usage. The unfortunate side affect I am experiencing currently is a feeling of "nothing". I feel "nothing" lately, apart from the love I have for my son. The valium and vicodin have been great in taking away the mental and physical pain but have replaced these with a complete emptiness.

It is very encouraging to read stories such as yours and these boards are truly amazing resource. I wish I could find more time to read and research.

Since I've been on the Valium for 13 years (apart from my pregnancy), I don't know what life would be without them anymore. The vicodin addiction came on abruptly. I was prescribed 30 pills for endo pain in 2000 and then again after I gave birth in 2001. Bang, I haven't had one day since without taking either a valium of a vicodin. It took me almost 3 years to realize I have a problem.

Thank you also for explaining this in such great detail, for example, I have absoutely no knowledge of long and short half-lifes. I feel embarrassed to be so uneducated about the dangers associated with benzos and painkillers. No one knows about my addictions. My husband knows I take a vicodin and/or valium occasionally, but never questions it, though I get prescriptions monthly. Also, I took some Tussionex when my husband was sick with bronchitis and I have a script for two refills from a recent bout of bronchitis, but I haven't refilled it because I can tell it is very, very addicting, I just loved it and did the 18 days of medicine in 7.

I wonder if this will now affect any future employment I seek as I had basically one job in my adult life?

Apologies for the book but it feels good to talk to someone.
Thank you again.
Elizabeth.

[jam338]

Elizabeth, you are quite welcome. Do not feel bad about not knowing!! Most of us didn't know until we were in trouble! Thank you for sharing your story which oddly seems similar to mine --- high-profile job, lots of stress, death in family, a doctor eager to prescribe, and well you know the story all too well. The difference for me was I wasn't taking Vicodin and Benzo at same time. First Vicodin, then Benzo (Xanax) and then Tramadol---3 different doctors as I was referred out to specialists for followup care---none of the 3 ever warned about tolerance dependency being a real problem that would involve horrible WDs...all treated tolerance very lightly and just increased doseage when I raised concerns.

For me, I eventually chose to home manage my own detox so that there would be no medical file documentation and reduce risks of jeopardizing my job. I mean obviously it was in my file regarding what I was being prescribed, but at the time I did not understand there was a medical distinction between addiction and tolerance dependency---all I knew was I could do nothing that might put my job at risk.

If you should choose to discuss it with your doctor, be sure you understand which applies to you, addiction or tolerance dependency, so you can accurately describe it and not unknowingly create the impression of a more serious problem than what you may have.

Addiction is associated with with inability to safely manage prescription useage in accordance with directions; abusing drugs, specifically taking prescription drugs beyond levels of how they were prescribed. For example, acquiring "additional" supplies through other sources than your doctor; friends, online, sellers, etc. Therefore, understandably, if you tell your doctor you feel you have an addiction problem, policies in some facilities require doctors to red flag the drug problem on your file for the awareness of any doctor who sees you so they don't prescribe for you.

Dependency is associated with taking drugs as prescribed, but developing a predictable tolerance associated with the basic inherent nature of the drug, and not the associated with your ability to properly manage your prescription as directed.

For physicians the diagnostic difference is an indicator as to whether a person has foundational drug management issues. Those who can't manage drug use in accordance with prescription must be halted from further abuse potential. Those who have developed tolerance dependency are not likely to be red-flagged. It is all an issue of semantics, but important semantics in the medical world that us lay folks generally would never have a clue even existed. I didn't know it either; my cousin is a doctor so that is how I learned it.

For some folks they MUST have that disclosure/external control in order to quit. Only you know which category you honestly feel that you fit within.

You were very wise to realize that when you started to count pills that it was a warning signal. In retrospect I think that was one of the first signs, and I wish I had known that and done something long before I did. Counting pills, splitting pills, waking thoughts that you need to take a pill the moment your feet hit the floor, scheduling things around your RX refill date, arranging to be able to pick up your RX refill as soon as the pharmacy opens, horrible feelings of panic and dread when your doctor has not yet called in your refill.....all are warning signs that tolerance and dependency have set in and difficult choices must be made---doctor can increase dose level or change to a more potent medication (all leading to tolerance and dependency of a worst substance that will be harder to detox from)---or detox and get off the drug merrygoround and get YOUR life back.

[vmom]

Jam,
What a very insightful reply.

I have to read it again and come back to you tomorrow with some more thoughts. I guess I fit into the tolerance category as well as the addiction category.

So much to learn...................I'm going to read your reply again and come back here by the weekend.

I cannot thank you enough tonight. You are a terrific person for taking the time to talk to me.
Elizabeth