I just flushed my tramadol down the toilet

[reachout]

If I had taken them again in the wee hours it would have, yet again, been awful to tell my husband that I couldn't do it and 34 hours of no pills would have gone down the drain-- I am happy that it's the pill that followed that path.


Hi Flushed

Hahahaha! Between your name and this quote from you, I just have to chuckle.

You are doing a good job staying strong here. Good for you!

I think the Lexapro can help you in the long run, but as your doctor has probably already told you, it can take 2-3 weeks to really kick in. So hang on. You may well encounter some anxiety from the withdrawal, so recognize it for what it is and fight against it taking you down or using the drug again.

You know, when I first started a taper from oxycodone, I was already in a meltdown with depression and anxiety. At first, withdrawing just intensified both the depression and the anxiety. It was like a double layer of both, somehow interwined, yet somehow seperate. As time has passed, I have felt the layers lifting. I think as the layer from withdrawing lifted, the Lexapro (which I was on long before the withdrawal, started to be able to work again. Now I can feel the bottom layer of depression and anxiety lifting by leaps and bounds. Still some lingering, but absolutely getting better and better. My daughter just told me yesterday about a conversation she had with one of her brothers where they talked about me starting to sound like my old self again. Smiles. That was a real encoragement for sure. I really think you might find these same things happening for you.

Keep posting and hoping and staying strong.
reach

[flushed]

I had another panic this morning after my post. My husband and I sat down and talked about me waiting for a better time to go off. I decided to go take a hot bath and it felt wonderful. That was 2 hours ago and now I don't feel the need to order them anymore.

This time is very different from any other time that I have tried to quit. I am only getting physically uncomfortable. The other times I would go into utter despair and a deep depression about 8 hours into not having pill. My spirits are great it's just the stupid busy legs/body.

So far what has helped is dark chocolate, a bath and phenergan (sp) when I get real nauseated.

I think that my user name is rather clever too- LOL

[reachout]

Hi Flushed

Glad to hear you used that diversionary tactic of taking a bath. Great choice!

Flushed... my two cents for what it is worth... there is no better time than now to deal with this. If we put the problem aside while we wait for a more opportune time while we get past some obstacle, another obstacle is just going to pop up. If you are old enough to be married, then you already know this is just how life works. Smooth times, obstacles, smooth times, obstacles...

Sitting here, I can not see anything in your post that suggests an obstacle bigger than the obstacle your drug use is causing in your life. Perhaps there is, and if so, you certainly have no obligation at all to share. I just don't understand your waivering from the conviction that was apparent just 40 or so hours ago.

Honey, whatever you are feeling now is, truthfully, only the beginning. You are going to feel physically better in just another 40 hours or less. The mental angst may very well plague you for a while to come. Read lots of threads here. Especially those that pertain to a cold turkey withdrawal.

There needs to be much more of a plan in place than just for the 5 days or so of withdrawal. There is going to need outside help of some sort for you to prevail in this fight. "Aftercare" Do you have a plan in place now for aftercare? Read lots of postings here to find some of the aftercare methods others have chosen that have worked.

Oh, there is so much to learn as we travel this road. Kind of like starting back to school and learning semester by semester. We have to learn chapter by chapter, day by day right now. I feel like I am on about Chapter 50 of a book with 1,000 chapters. Smiles.

Hang in and keep learning.

With lots of hope
reach

[flushed]

Thank you reach! I wasn't even considering going off the tram but my husband is having horrible kidney stone problems and my filling fell out of my tooth. It was too much and I went to see my family Dr. He does not know about the tram. He put me on Lexapro, gave me some 25 mg Xanax and my husband has phenergan. I thought to myself that hopefully, I can go off of tram, ween on the lexapro. I hate the Xanax it makes me too sleepy. I took my first, only 1/2, to help me sleep last night and it kinda stops the body movements. I really want to do this with just the Lexapro.

So my husband and I were talking about me waiting until his stone has passed. However, I am now 43 hours passed my last pill and I don't want to do those over.

My husband is off of work a lot too with his kidney stone. We have been hanging out together and, thankfully, my 3 year old is mellow. My hubby is on his way home now and I think that I will take another bath then.

You are so right reach! If not this week then next week I have corporate taxes to do. Also my son is getting married in a year so there will be appointments and parties, etc. Pretty soon I will be years into taking this crud instead of just 6 months.

WooHoo 43 hours into recovery!!

Okay I am off to read some aftercare planning stuff.

Thanks for your help!!

[ultramhatr]

im 6 weeks off this med. glad you made the choice to stop . hang in there and keep posting!!! it will be over soon, i started feeling better in about 6 days.... the baths helped the most along with this board... remember lots of water and rest......peace and blessings michael