I want to give this a try. Just to please him. Just to give him the sense that he is in control and that I don't always get what I want, when I want it.
I did try to generic. It didn't work. I'll now give the brand name a try. I'll have to call in a month for a refill. I guess I'll mention when I leave the message with the nurse that it's not helping at all. The nurses are horrible about giving messages, especially if it means more than just writing the regular script.
He may have a nurse call me back with a message. He may call me back himself, he's done that on rare occassions. I wouldn't mind actually going in for another appointment. I think we have some real issues to discuss.
I don't love the idea of being on medication, especially benzo's, since so many people look down upon them, but other meds have not worked. They help me. Maybe in the future something else will be released to help.
I'm surprised that he almost seems to be trying to cut me back on the Xanax. He was always so good about it before, even increasing when I didn't directly ask. I feel like I've been cut off completely right now. I don't think he realizes that, since it's technically the same drug, he thinks it should be helping.
I don't want to be manipulative, but I'm going to be honest. I know he'll ask about school I was in school for 6 months, stopped, and am trying to find a better one. He was so supportive, especially with my added workload of dealing with bad GAD.).
I'm going to tell him that I'm probably not going to any problem this summer or fall. My anxiety is uncontrolled and it's such a stressful and anxiety-provoking educational system and job environment. I've worked so hard to get into these programs... So, I'm going to settle for something easy and way below my abilities and current education level.
That's going to pull at his heartstrings. He's taken to a fatherly, yet respectful/peer type relationship with me over the past year. He doesn't want me to give up on my life because of this.
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