Too much talking, cues for understanding this!

[nightowl2]

I need some help..I have a serious "chatterbox" problem..I have since I was little..and I still do!

I want to know how to see the cues for "talking too much"...I don't seem to notice that I am "going over board" and no, I am not on any meds at this writing!
I used to be on adderall and I got "too quiet"! LOL!
But, it did work.My hubby hates it when I interrupt him all of the time!

What can I do, to learn NOT to over do it any longer?

anybody?

Should I look into getting meds again? or not?

thanks!


nightowl2

[Jennita]

I do that too. Personally, I think its a secret desire for attention or just simply feeling like people are not listening to you or don't want to listen to you could drive you to talk alot as a result.

I found out that was my problem since my husband is the type to get mad if you don't answer something in just a few direct words. So I stopped talking to him much and started on others! Oh dear. But then my kids brought it to my attention.

They said just because my husband is the impatient, direct type when it comes to conversation doesn't mean others are BUT they also said most people don't like to hear you when you dominate the conversation too much, so if you want them to listen and learn from you, don't ramble....and listening to others is how you learn new things in life too!

That all made such sense to me that I now have really put it into my mind to stop after talking and wait for others to talk; even if they change the subject I realize the world will not end if they don't hear every word I have to say on a particular subject!! I can always save it for next time.....

[nightowl2]

Part of this is I A. don't like silences...B, I usually forget the "important item" that I had wanted to say..so I start to say what I can say..and I still get accused to talking way too much,... or talking about absolutely nothing(which I totally DISagree on this one!) and or C. many people just do not want to hear people talk in general...I have noticed people seem to prefer "silence"!
I am NOT one of them! LOL!

But, I am really trying to change ..it is hard though! Very hard for me!

nightowl2

[Jennita]

Well, you could be on to something. Maybe more people these days have alot on the mind, thus someone talking could interrupt that. Others talk interrupts listening to music, or watching a movie, or observing things surrounding us, and just plain old working things out in our heads. Conversations can also take up too much of our now precious time in these hectic times; even when we have time perhaps we are conditioned to want things wrapped up quickly?

Or maybe silence is preferable since most hours of the day the average person is bombarded with too much noise, talk, etc??

Maybe talk itself has become boring and too time consuming in this high-tech, fast paced society of ours????

[rheanna]

nightowl2,

Too much talking and not enough listening is common for people with ADD.

As I read in some of the other threads on this Board, it has something to do with the frontal cerebral cortex which is supposed to have control over decision-making and other activities of the brain. This functions poorly in people with ADD, with the result that we are so busy paying attention to sorting out our jumbled thoughts and trying to get them out in some semblance of order, that we don't notice whether the brilliant discourse we are babbling on about is even relevant to the rest of the conversation or whether anyone is even interested in what we are saying.

I have described it as having great difficulty paying attention to both what is happening on the inside (my own thoughts and feelings) AND what is happening on the outside (other people's reactions) at the same time.

It goes with the territory of having ADD. With a lot of practice at noticing when someone's eyes are glazing over, you can (at least sometimes) remember to tell yourself "OK, I'm going to smash my lips together and not open them until there's a pause in the other person's speech." With a bit more practice, you can learn to actually pay attention to what the other person is saying (on good days) so that when you do open your mouth you are responding in an appropriate manner. It takes practice. Years of it.

At the moment I am on a low dosage of methylphenidate (generic Ritalin). It is helping me to remember to pay attention to when I need to keep my mouth shut and listen. It isn't a solution. I still have to give instructions to my brain to add this activity (shutting up) to the list of activities that go along with having a social discussion. I'm still practicing.

You're not alone.

--Rheanna