Ritalin Addiction - Dancing with Death

elixabethtx · 07-13-2007, 08:44 PM

I am so tired of people saying that Ritalin is not addictive. I have been to six rehabs to try and kcik this drug and nothing seems to work!

This hell began about four years ago when my doctor prescribed the drug for me. I took a low dose for about a year and I had no problem. I would not take the drug on the weekends and at that time my body seemed fin without it.

The trouble began when I read a magazine article about teenagers crushing and snorting the drug. The article also stated that the powder gives you a "rush" like speed or other amphetamines.

So, I tried it and loved the euphoric feeling it gave me. From that minute on I was hooked. I began to snort up to 200mg a day. Sometimes I would go over this limit. I had to have it the second I woke up. OVer the years my tolerance built up and I could not go without the drug for 15-30 minutes without getting irratible uncomfortable. At this time I was seeing three doctors so I could keep a supply. I was averageing 90 20mg tabs in 4-5 days.

Finally, fear of a heart attack or stroke made me admit to my doctor what I was doing. He suggested I go into the hospital for detox and then go to a residential treatment center for 30 days. I took his advice.

I could not handle the depression that ensued.Once the drug cleared my system I became so weak and suicidally depressed. I would sit around and cry all of the time. It was total hell. The crazy thing is that I went through this scenario six times. After all these rehabs I could not kick the drug. Nothing seemed to help. I could not handle life without feeling "sped up."

Today, I take an anti-psychotic, two anti-depressants and a mood stabilizer. I really messed up the biochemistry of my brain and exacerbated my pre-existing depression. I also take one Concerta a day which is the time release form of the drug. My husband keeps them and rations them to me daily. I no longer snort the drug, but I do not know if I will be Ritalin-free.

It angers me that this issue is not discussed more often. I have read many posts from other ADD/ADHD and health forums stating that the drug is non-addictive and not an amphetamine. This is false information. I really think more people suffer the same problem, but do not admit it.

Hope this helps someone and prevents them from going down the same path I did.

shay4bliss · 07-14-2007, 01:09 AM

Hi Elixa,

I am really glad you posted about this! I'm an addict that has abused alot of stuff, but not ritalin. I have, however, known of this for years and you are so right, it is a huge problem, especially with kids. It's really predominant in the high schools. And you are right, alot of people (many parents unfortunately) are clueless about this.

I have done this same thing with Wellbutrin. And how did I find out about it? From a grapevine stemming from kids! It's really sad! I've always been afraid to address it quite honestly, because it's never been brought up and I know there are 'lurkers' here who are just looking for drug ideas. I remember once snorting about 60+- pills in two days and I didn't remember anything I did during this period. Very dangerous.

I am so glad you got off this stuff. It's just like amphetamines! Only worse, because like you said, it totally messes with our brain's chemistry.

How long have you been off it? Do you mind if I ask what meds you now take? I am interested in hearing about other people's experriences and what works for them because I am soon facing a detox from opiates. I know I will need to be on an anti-d.

Would love to hear more from you and thank you for bringing this up!
Shay

maggie0704 · 07-16-2007, 02:49 PM

Thank you for sharing your story. I have a bad one also..........
I never took Ritalin, but i was on Adderall and i believe it has the same make-up. Adderall almost ruined my life.
Keep in mind please, i'm not speaking of those who take it for justified medical reasons.....i'm referring to those who abuse it or who do not have the correct DX that justifies it medically. Bcuz if taken when one doesn't ADD/ADHD, it can cause some very dangerous symptoms.
I never snorted it, i took it as directed by my doctor, and it STILL made my life a living hell. Of course i did not realize this while on it, bcuz i was so messed up mentally. Until i was finally off of it, did i look back and see how insane everything was. I suffer from depression, and while on it i became more depressed than i'd ever been. I felt suicidal many times.
I fought with everyone in my life, and these were not little fights....I would freak out and scream & curse at them for no reason at all. I became addicted to it bcuz it helped me lose weight and i liked not being tired all the time, as i was all the time before i took them.
But after a while, instead of helping with my energy level, i became so sleep-deprived that i was a walking zombie.
I'd stay up til 4-5am (even on work nights) and then when the weekend came, i'd sleep during sat/sun til 7pm and then stay up that night til 6am and do it all over again the next day. It was total insanity. And i began to notice that even though i was speedy and racing around, my brain chemistry was slowing down. It took me 10 times longer to finish a project at work. And i would TRY to get to bed at a decent hour, but the next thing i'd know, it would be the wee hours of morning.....yet i had NO IDEA what the heck i had been doing that was keeping me up so late.
My family finally intervened and sent me to rehab.
I slept straight thru the entire first 3days. At the time, i was also on Methadone for chronic pain, dr. prescribed also. And the weird thing is that my family didn't put me in rehab bcuz of the Methadone, bcuz i was taking a low dose and taking it as dr. prescribed. But the Adderall is what made me crazy.
After a few days in rehab, i started to remember all the strange and crazy things i'd done and said throught the past months. I was sickened over how i had acted. Needless to say, i had A LOT of amends to make.
Oh, i was wrongly prescribed Adderall bcuz i did not have ADD/ADHD. I was just tired from the Methadone, and my dr. handed me an RX for the Adderall. I thought i'd found a miracle drug! I was thrilled that there could possibly be something out there to solve all my worries.....help me function without fatigue AND help me lose weight (which i've always been insecure about).
I had NO idea until i was off the stuff of how bad it screwed with my brain.
And i had never been so depressed in my life. I've always had it under control with an SSRI. But during this time i can't even explain how deeply depressed i was. I was walking around extremely fatigued, very angry, very very sad, very messed up.....and i had no idea that it could be the drug i was on.
So hopefully this info. will help someone else out there. I'm glad you shared your story on Ritalin. I've been wanting to share this story bcuz it was such a major life-changing time in my life. And i'm lucky that i'm alive today bcuz i was THAT messed up from it. It is SO not worth even THINKING that this drug or Ritalin could be safe.

skych · 07-16-2007, 03:08 PM

Hi Elixa,

Thanks for sharing your story, and thanks Shay and Maggie as well for sharing.

I totally believe that those 2 drugs are addicting. I personally have never taken either one of them but in the county that my friend lives in they have a thing called Drug Court.
Drug Court is for people who are repeat drug offenders that are on Probation and or Parole. They have to report for court once a week or evey other week.
Anyway my friend was given Adderal for Adhd and Drug Court told her that she could not take that prescription while in Drug Court because of it's addictive and amphetamine like properties.
I am not sure if they allow it to be taken in my county if you are in Drug Court, but I can see where they are coming from on this one.
Thanks for sharing...lots to learn from you guys...Chrissy

elixabethtx · 07-16-2007, 08:42 PM

Thanks everyone for your replies and support. I am SO glad you took a moment to read my story.

Six rehabs didn't kick me of the habit and I do not think there is a drug or doc that could or could have.

I finally had to be willing to quit and start a 12 step program. I had to look at all the pain (and feel it) I was trying to hide and cover up. "Being sped up" was just another way not to deal with my feelings or current situation.

I was hesitant to try NA or AA, but I finally did. I go to NA meetings and see a therapist on a regular basis. As I stated before I take anti-depressants and a mood stabilizer. These have really helped my depression. I realize not everybody needs them, but they have helped me immensely.

I was on Adderall too--it's just as bad in my opinion.

Again, thanks for speaking up and I was very glad to read your stories.

E