Hi Ken. When I read your posts, the first thing that came to my mind when you asked for suggestions is this. Encourage your daughters to talk about their feelings. School councelors, clergy, other family members could help.
The University of Alabama Medical Center-Birmingham has a wonderful research facility. I think you'll be pleased with the attention and care you and your wife will get there.
About family members and friends 'disappearing'. There are people who choose to not visit because they figure "Why bother? She won't remember." But I think for the most part, people back away because of their inability to deal with the pain and uncertainty that dementia brings with it. My dad has none of his old friends anymore. Most of his brothers and sisters don't have anything to do with him anymore. He has a son and a daughter whom he never sees. It's really sad. But I've found that for me, it's best to accept that they can't or won't have contact with dad. I can't change that. My dad now lives in Alabama with my sister. She takes my dad places whenever he wants to go. Her FIL has become a wonderful friend to my dad. He picks dad up and takes him for coffee almost every morning just to get him out of the house. They take my dad with them to family outings and to friends' houses to provide some sort of socialization for him.
I just wish more people would realize that just because a person with dementia has trouble remembering and communicating doesn't necisarily mean they don't understand what's going on around them. They still have feelings.
Love, Barb
Linear Mode
