13 year old with depression

[Denise41070]

My 13 year old has had "behavior issues" for as long as I can remember. When she was little it manifested itself as tantrums which were pretty extreme. I brought her when she was six to a councelor to help manage these behavoir problems with no availe. As she became older the tantrums were coupled with her repeating "I need you" and I would be right there trying to help her and she would just keep saying it over and over. No amout of soothing would help. The past year she has reached puberty and her feelings of anger and frustration have become unmanagable. She has tried running away and has been suicidal. She has been hospitalized 5 times because of this. She has a stable home enviroment and none of this makes sense to me. She doesn't know why she feels this way. She has lots of friends, some of which are a little racey for their age. I try to limit contact with such negative friends but can't choose her friends for her. She has low self esteem and thinks little of herself. I am trying to find medical reasons behind this and have gotten some insight but am searching for more info. She is above average height for her age in the 90th percentile and in the 10th percentile for weight however has a great appetite. Her TSH is within normal limits. She has large pupils and always has. She grinds her teeth at night. She is very sensitive and takes many things personal. Can anyone shed some light on this for me. I brought her to an endocrinologist and they thought she was fine. They only spoke to her, they didn't even draw blood. I would appreciate any insight on this matter.

[sub223]

I can't tell you anything specific, simply because I don't know enough, but my first question would be - does she know she has a problem and/or does she feel the same way you do about her behaviour? Ask her if she knows why she does some of the things she does, and if she doesn't know, perhaps suggest that there is a motivation behind everything, even if it is subconcious, and see if she is willing to think a little on WHY she does what she does and what she gets out of it. If she does no think she has a problem in any way whatsoever, any kind of solution will be difficult to find.

As far as "treatment" goes, see if you can get her to write in a journal. It doesn't have to be about anything specific, and I certainly recommend that you do NOT read it, and reassure her that you won't ever pry. Get to excercise, at least thirty minutes a day, doing something she enjoys. Involve her in de-stressing activities, such as playing with an animal, reading a book, cooking, or a nice hot bath. Avoid screens - TV, video games, the computer. They are too stimulating to an already overstimulated mind.

Also, speaking from personal experience, she could simply be lashing out in fear. Fear of many things, the future (especially if she has low self-esteem; jr. high is when fear of the future really kicks in), change, fear of not being accepted, especially a fear of not being good enough.

Hope that helps, at least as a jumping point!

[Denise41070]

Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate any help I can get. I will certainly try your suggestions. Thanks again.

[KeltoKel]

I would work with a new psychologist if you can. You may want to look into bipolar syndrome. Is she on meds?

[Denise41070]

She is on Celexa 30mg and Seroquel 25 mg. She was hearing voices until she started the Seroquel. She sees a pychiatrist which I'm not entirely sure of, however, her therapist is great. We also go to DBT once a week, and have a family therapist. I am so sad that even with all the help she still is in so much pain. She doesn't tell me that, but her actions and lack of motivation tell me that. She has had med adjustments but nothing is fixing the problem. The only time she appears happy is when she is with her friends. I know at her age that is pretty normal. She puts up a good front in front of certain individuals. Thank you for responding, I really appreciate it.