New development..... wondering - Page 3

ibake&pray · 02-20-2008, 12:59 PM

Deb,

The monitoring device that was used in my parents place was on a cloth type band that was attached through openings on the transmitter and then secured. The band kept it close to the body and it didn't swing or irritate. I can't see how a chain would be comfortable or even practical to use on the elderly!

Martha had good suggestions on approaching the staff. I used to go up to the desk and if it was someone that I wasn't close to I would look at them and say " I really don't know what to do. Mom seems to be .......... is there something that we can do to ..............(fill in the blank.) I don't know what we would do without the help that you have given us . Thanks for making sure that Mom gets this _______________." It worked about 85% of the time. The only time it didn't work was with the nurse who should have gone back to Dachau. She had no compassion or bedside manner and barely any nursing skills. Asides from that...... Keeping the staff on your side with any requests is of the first order of business. The only way we got so much accomplished for my folks was through " honey eyes" as our youngest son called it. Bat your eyes until honey drips out. Having the staff on your side is your best defense.

We used to occasionally order tins of coookies to be delivered to the desk where the staff was for Mom and Dad. It was such a small gesture that meant so much for the staff. They worked incredibly hard-for the most part-and the pay isn't that great. The good that the cookies did far outweighed the cost in my opinion. The NH has a rule that the staff is not allowed to accept personal gifts so this way everyone was able to partake in the gift form us and Mom and Dad...

Good luck Deb..It will take all of your smarts and patience to get through this, but you will...

DGabriel10 · 02-20-2008, 06:57 PM

Thank you Martha, Sunny, and Ibake!! I managed to get through the 5 days I was there, discontinue the Fosamax, narcotic cough syrup, sleeping pill. and so much more tactfully. I was only stern with one MedTech but that was after she was rude and upset Mom. I had to pull out that look which said.... don't mess with me this morning..... and she backed off. For the most part the staff has been incredible. My only complaint is with their Wellness Center. I was still able to work with them while I was there. I just figured out really quickly who to talk to. I worked in LTC and know what they are going through so I tried to be considerate. I gave back more than I ask for while I was there and was always full of praise. Several times I was ask to help with other patients because they knew I was willing. Before I left they offered me a job. I can handle the staff. That is just my sister's fear that I will piss somebody off. The people I was talking about ******* off was my sister because I am no longer there and there is a care meeting on Dad Thursday that they can handle this. I do not want to have to make that 6 hour round trip to do it myself.

Dad's monitor is on his wrist, not his ankle. It looks like an oversized ID bracelet with that crimped coated wire sticking out. It has the long slits for a band just as you mentioned Ibake but that is not what it is on with. I have also suggested to my sister that she mention at the care meeting that they find something different to secure it to him or do away with it completely. Again, that is up to my sister to address at the care meeting. I actually know what happened when he went out the front door and it was just a matter of confusion rather than trying to leave. He never wonders far from Mom but she didn't feel well, sent him to the mailbox, and he knew he was looking for something from me. So he went outside thinking I was coming. I truly believe he would have waited right by the door.

I did talk to Mom a few minutes ago and she doesn't understand why her back hurts. I explained again what happened to her and when I finished she said.... "I knew that". Then I found out that my sister had taken her to the grocery store today knowing she had a hair appointment this afternoon. Being her first full day up and out she is exhausted, hurting, and has order supper in her room. ::shaking head::: I truly wish I was closer.....

Sunny... I am sorry to hear you are having difficulties with your Mother. I have spend time with Dad twice when he ripped out his IV. Hospital psychosis is truly a problem for those that are confused anyway. If it makes you feel better, once we got him back where he belonged he was much better.

It is just so frustrating........

Love, deb

moodlelover · 02-21-2008, 07:25 AM

Hi Deb, you sure are going through a rough time. Are the nurses at he home allowed to change your dads' medications without a Drs approval? Or was it the Drs decision in the first place? Mums' Dr took her off Fosamax because it causes confusion and also Diptopan (for the bladder). There are so many meds that our loved ones need but a lot of them cause confusion.
I can be very tactless at times too, especially when it comes down to Mum or any of my children or grandchildren, I am known to react first and then ask questions....not a good idea!!
I hope you can get your Dads' meds sorted out and everything settles down for you.
Hugs
Gayl

ibake&pray · 02-21-2008, 10:44 AM

Deb,

Just a suggestion. When they do the quarterly care meeting, the staff were always more than willing to conference me in via phone. If you are not sure that your sister is willing to push the questions that you need to have answered...being an only child I never had to worry about this...you might want to ask to be conferenced in via phone? Just a thought... I often wished for someone to share this with besides my hubby-bless his heart. He truly thought my parents were his as his passed when were dating. I don't know if siblings make it easier or not. But it would have been nice to be able to blame someone else once in awhile!

You sound like you know all the lines down pat to get results..but Deb, we are still here, just like the verizon network, following you to give you support....can you hear me now? ((((((hugs)))))) and how can your sister be so dense to take your mom out like that her first day up? sigh...

DGabriel10 · 02-21-2008, 02:08 PM

Thank you Mood. Meds should only be changed by the doctor and I made sure I saw her about Mom on Monday. I did tell her of my concerns about the Fosamax and she agreed, discontinuing that med. Mom should have never been given it laying down but that is done and I did handle that. Now we just need to find out exactly what is going on with her esophogus and take care of that. I will never be able to prove it was the Fosomax but I will always know that played a part.

Ibake, Dad has a care meeting today at 3pm. I actually have three sisters and two of them are where Mom and Dad are. I talked to my other sister that is there, she has the information that I discovered, and will be at the care meeting. I am going to give the two of them an opportunity before I jump in it again. I am glad I have sisters to share this with but sometimes I do wonder if it makes it easier or more complicated. It would be better if I was closer.

Thank you for your reassurance Ibake. I try to keep it together but there are times I feel like I am grabbing at air and this board has been my place to fall apart and gain strength to go on. It is so nice to be able to explain a situation and somebody truly understand why I am shaking my head. Birds of a feather of flocked together here and I just hope I give back half of what all of you have given me and continue to give me. I do feel like I have the network behind me. Thank you each and every one.....

Love, deb