After 30+ years, I finally have a consistent grip on myself

[bepersistent]

Hi, I've been dealing with the symptoms of ADD and some of the 'H' factors my whole life. Growing up in a small town in the Midwest, stuff like this goes unnoticed. After so many years of being frustrated, short tempered, and stressed, I'm finally getting some relief. My relationships were severely damaged, kids, and significant others, because of the aforementioned. Work was tuff, I daydreamed all the time and got narcoleptic during meetings, my thoughts and daydreams were hard to control and manage.

Now...
My doctor had me work on my physical health and go to counseling. I did what he said and took an online quiz for adult ADHD. The doctor prescribed Concerta for 3+ weeks. It took a while to feel consistent, but I'm getting there. Instantly I felt more sociable, calmer, more rational, more patient, and more alert. When I daydream (yes I love to daydream), there's a clear line between them, no cloudiness, I transition between thoughts very clearly. There were a few days in the first week where I felt overwhelmed suddenly and stressed, but that seems more controllable now.

Future...
I have hope and a positive outlook now.

Questions...
Do the affects of the medication continue to improve? Does the brain learn to heal and rewire itself; does it produce those chemicals with regularity overtime on its own?

[Thunor]

Wow, I could have written the first half of that myself, lol. The temper, stress, frustration, the constant daydreaming, even falling asleep during meetings (for me that one's been a constant my whole life, falling asleep in church as a kid, falling asleep in school, at movies, in front of the TV, while reading, etc, etc, etc.).

Alas, I can't say as I've had the success you've had from the second half of your post, though now that I think about it, I have been more sociable, patient and alert. My impluse control is still awful, but I'm really trying.

It's great to hear that you're doing well, I hope that things continue to improve for you. Seeing someone that shares my symptoms so entirely, it gives me hope, lol . . . maybe I'm not alone after all.

Alas, my understanding is that the brain does not repair itself. Much like giving insulin to a diabetic, the processes that produce those compounds shut down and one becomes dependent on the medication. <removed> you'll see lots of people claiming that the brain is irreversably damaged by long term treatment.

However, consider that much like a diabetic, your systems aren't working "normally" to begin with, so you do what you must to function. I can't give you firsthand experience of success with ADD, but I can tell you that someone in my life has seen their life completely turn around with the help of anti-depressants and I know that they would rather risk the "permanent damage" ostensibly done by prozac and its derivatives over the life of crushing depression (and perhaps suicide) that they were living.

I'm sure someone more qualified than I can give you the pros and cons, but I know that at 35 I'm desparate enough to try anything that will allow me to function in society in a way that I can achieve the success that I know I am capable of, yet has always been unreachable. The prospect of being a spectacular failure for another 35 years is simply not one I'm willing to entertain, regardless of potential consequences . . . I have a family that counts on me, and I can't let them down any longer.

[rheanna]

Originally Posted by bepersistent

Questions...
Do the affects of the medication continue to improve? Does the brain learn to heal and rewire itself; does it produce those chemicals with regularity overtime on its own?

bepersistent,

I have heard different stories about whether the brain can learn to heal and rewire itself. My feeling is that, with practice (lots and lots of practice!), we cartainly can learn new habits, including thinking patterns. Here in Germany, where I live, the general assumption is that with a lot of help and guidance and sometimes with meds, most children outgrow their ADD, and no longer need meds as adults. Or so they say. As I didn't figure out that I have ADD until middle age, and I didn't grow up in Germany, I certainly didn't have the benefit of the German school and medical system. So when I presented to the medical establishment that I wanted to try Ritalin, as it had helped me when I lived in the U.S., they mostly just looked blankly at me and had no idea what to do. It took a long time for me to find a doctor who was willing to prescribe (generic) Ritalin for me, and I am amazed that he has simply left me to my own devices for the last 8 months or so that I have been taking it.

In short, I am left to myself to learn new patterns while I am on the meds. But even as I know that the meds all by themselves don't make me start and finish tasks and organize my life, I also know that without them I haven't a chance right now. So what I am trying to do is learn at least a few organizational skills (hahahaha!!!) and hope that with practice these skills become easier even on days when I don't take my meds. As lots of people here post, I would love to say that someday I can do without the meds. Addprogrammer alludes to finding that sometimes on some days when the wind is blowing right and the stars are in allignment and mercury is not in retrograde, he can function easier for a day without the meds than he was able to do before he got diagnosed and prescribed.

Yes, I think that the brain can be rewired. But it takes a lot of work on our part. The meds are not a magical solution.

--Rheanna

[bonnie7777777]

I was surprised to hear about the attitude of another country concerning ADD. I was diagnosed about 5 years ago and tried different meds for the first 3 years. Yes, there was a difference for awhile ...but then I couldn't tell after that. I never really improved much in the way of organization even while I was on the meds. However, as strange as it may sound..the daydreaming and internal story-telling cut down about 80 percent! After I went off the meds I thought that the constant day-dreaming part of ADD would return, but I couldn't believe it...it didn't!! That constant symptom mostly disappeared (it was really bad for me). Now here I am with no meds for 2 years and I am still improved. Was it the meds that took away an ADD symptom that had become a habit? If so, then perhaps we can be re-wired on some levels. My other ADD symptoms are unfortunately still intact...