End Of The Road For Me... Need Thoughts and Prayers

[Yossarian22]

Go Girl

YOU THE MAN (in a womanly feminine way)

i hope you have a good weekend and get plenty of rest.

take care - i'll check on you again 2moro

Nurse Yoss

[g8trgrl15]

Hey guys..

Well, it's been a full week since Sub. If I start to feel bad.. I take an ultram.. but I go to my regular Dr tomorrow and am going to lay it all out and see what he says.. My moods have been shifting a lot.. (more than normal for a female.. ) He talked about once I was off the sub putting me on Wellbutrin.. so I don't know.. I just want to be free of taking all things.. but I know it's a gradual process.. if you chose the route I did. You just take things to get you through the process and then wean off of it.. lol What a circle. Lortab to methadone to morphine to suboxone, klonopin and rozeram for sleeping, (which is not habit forming BTW) and now the ultram when I start feeling the butterflies in my stomach and the leg pain or back pain.. As for how to handle the real pain once I'm through all this.. I have no idea... what do people with chronic pain do once they become an addict.. and can't take the medicine that makes the pain go away??????? That's a big question for me.. that no one seems to be able to answer.

Anyway, just checkin in.. I'm hanging in there and getting better every day I think. I ended up having a virus this weekend on top of this.. so that was nice.. lol

Peace out.. talk to yous guys later..

g8trgrl

[Yossarian22]

A virus! on top of all this! SHeeesH! how crappy is that?! . have a good chat with the doc - i know what you mean - why stop taking 1 drug for another.
Still - its great news to hear that you are doing so well 1 week on

BIG CHEERS!

Keep it up Brandi - You know you're worth it.

*hugs n love*

Yoss

[g8trgrl15]

Hey guys, just checkin in. I'm about to not take any more ultram. Of course the Dr. didn't see any reason for me to be on it. I'm just so scared of w/d. I know that it's a 3 day weekend, and would be a perfect time to just go CT and let whatever happens, happen. I'm not feeling all that good right now, but what should I EXPECT?? My head's pounding, I'm freezing, I just have 0 energy..etc. My fear with the withdrawals is you never know how long they will last.. 2 weeks? 2 months? Longer? I know that I've talked to some people on here that have been clean for over 3 weeks and still feel like total crap. I have a family to take care of.. can't be out of commission for that long. I just am starting to feel hopeless. This has absolutely been the hardest thing I've ever done.. and am not finished yet. Just don't see the light at the end of the tunnell.. Just need uplifting words I guess and encouragement.. PLEASE!!

Brandi

[reachout]

Hi Brandi

Don't confuse feeling hopeless with feeling scared, Sweetpea! Of course you are scared, but in no way are tyou hopeless. Big difference and I want you to identify the feelings correctly because scared is definitely something we can deal with.

You are not going to deal with anything you have not already dealt with! Chills... yes, and we will take hot baths, showers, Salon Pas patches and heating pads. Headaches... yes, and we will take an Advil, massage the temples and survive it. Anxiety.... yes, and we will work it off physically with housework and walks and pushing ourselves even against the fatigue. We will combat the fatigue with energy drinks and food. We will combat any depression with the knowledge that it will pass and the knowledge that this will come to an end and life will be so much more balanced and good.


Brandi, keep the focus on the fact that you are getting stronger and better everyday, that all symptoms are temporary and are symptoms of healing. Healing, Brandi! Face it with a totally practical attitude... "You Are Healing."
Every step taken is just one more step to a restored life and that is the life for you.

You be strong, girl and know that the troops are ral;lying with you.

Love
treach