HELP.....Living with an addict....

[shaybing]

Someone close to me has a history of admitted drug abuse and addictive personality (drugs and alcohol). He was in a serious accident about 3 months ago and has been prescribed either Oxycodone and Hydrocodone since the accident. It has become obvious that he cannot go without the drugs for more than a day without becoming physically ill and what seems to be other traditional signs of W/Ds. I have questioned him about it and off course there is always a reason why he is low or out of meds. I suspected something was up so today I looked in his room and his prescription that should have lasted 30 days was empty after only be refilled 5 days ago. I cannot think of another reason why this would happen other than either selling them or taking them excessively. I have read some of your comments on this site. They have really opened my eyes and confirmed some ideas I already had. Can you please advise me what I should do and how I should handle this situation???? Thanks

[taxguy0852]

I think the first question is how long has he been taking pain pills? Did he start after the accident or had he been taking them before and his new prescription is just a continuation of the problem.

I would try to have an open converstation with him. You have to be carefull because if he feels threatened he will just hide the addiction from you and the problem will continue. I was on tabs and oxys for 3 years. My wife is a RN and recognized my addiction a year ago. She talked to me but never was threatning so when I was ready for help I was able to include her in my decision on where and what type. We have been seperated for 5 months and we are just getting back together. This has drawed us closer and Im not sure I could do this without her support and encouragement. She understands that once hooked it has now become a medical condition. She also understands I have a very addictive personality so my getting hooked wasnt all medical. I guess the key thing is not to be an enabler but also not be judgemental that he closes up and refuses to talk to you.

Good luck and I hope you find your solution. This board has helped me and I am not sure I would of followed through with my treatment if it wasnt for the reassurance that I was doing the right thing and that the treatment plan I was choosing was going to be effective.

[kalimaia]

At what point did you know you were ready for help. My adult son has been stealing my meds for awhile now.I kept coming up short and thought it was me.I just had a feeling it was him after a whlie. Also previously, I caught my husband stealing my meds so there's where my sons addictive personality comes from. Now my meds are in a lock box and the key is on me. I'm just asking where do I go from here. Here is anger, hurt, disappointment, and fear. How do help? I'm pretty sure a friend(so called) is getting him pills now that mine are locked up.

[wannabefree333]

First thing, recognize this is not your problem, and you cannot fix it. They have to fix it. I think sitting down and telling them "hey look, I know you are taking more than you should be, and I'm very concerned about you." SET BOUNDARIES and stick to them! ie; if i find you have been stealing medications or doing something illegal-I'll have no part of that and you'll have to find somewhere else to live. Remember, by allowing them to continue in doing this, you are only helping them get worse every day. This may sound a bit crazy, but go to an Ala-non group. These groups work together to help YOU maintain your sanity in living with someone with alcoholism or addiction. They can teach you how to take control of your own life and allow the others to do the same. You don't have to feel like you need to fix this. It's not your problem to fix. But definitely let them know what you know, what you see, and that you aren't wearing a blindfold. Also tell them what you are NOT going to put up with anymore.