Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

StacyVictor · 06-23-2008, 11:14 PM

Hello everyone, although I am not new to the board I have not been on for several years. Basically since I started taking Suboxone. I started out in 1996-1997 as a heroin/cocaine addict. Went on methadone and got pregnant. Tried to get off the methadone and withdrawals were so bad, got hooked on vicodens! I took 20-30 vicoden's a day for about 6 years, then in 2003 or 2004 I found Suboxone and I have been on it every since. Why was I on it for so long you ask? Well I had one doctor that I saw every month and was very understanding that he let me stay on it as long as i wasn't using anything else and I stayed at 2mg a day. Then I moved to phoenix and found a new doctor. He claimed to be an expert on suboxone and said I should stay on it for life. Please know that this doctor was NOT just taking my money. My insurance covered the minimal office fee of $50 and I applied and was accepted through the suboxone manufacturer for a year for free suboxone (30 8mg a month). Of course over time, my dose went up because it could, after all I was getting it for free. Then came 2008! Everything was fine until January 25, 2008 when an accident at work (I was a waitress) left me in the hospital for a week with a broken hip! I was given more pain medicine than you can imagine but the suboxone kept it from working. then I had to have another surgery and then 2 weeks ago another. In the meantime, about 3 months ago, I found out my "expert in suboxone" lost his license to practice medicine because he was already on probation with the medical board and he got caught taking provigil w/o a prescription. Well all of a sudden, bam...no suboxone doctor (manufacturer will only send suboxone to a doctor's office) all of a sudden I have no doctor to prescribe the suboxone! So I have decided to quit! I am sick and tired of worrying about where i'll get the next prescription. It's just as bad as vicoden! I just had a third operation on my hip. I hadn't taken suboxone for 3 weeks b/c I had prescription pain meds, but I was still having suboxone withdrawal the whole time. You know, no sleep, feeling so anxious, having weird paranoid thoughts all the time. Yesterday I ran out of pain meds and broke down and took just a little bit of Suboxone. It made feel sooooo much better. But I know how this story ends, so I know I can't take anymore.

I am sooooooooooo scared! I keep telling myself I can do this, but can I???? I have had a crutch for so many years how can I be completely clean now?? I DONT want to go back to taking Suboxone everyday! I want to start my life over and be free from this demon! But how??? There are so few threads about people that have completely become free of this drug!!!! I have 2 bottles of 30-8mg pills. Should I start a really slow, low dose taper? I just don't know what to do and I have know one to talk to about this.

Please I would really appreciate as much help and encouragement as everyone can give. I really want/need to do this, this time!!! I want to be free of this demon!

oh-notagain · 06-23-2008, 11:25 PM

Stacy,

Welcome Back !!!

To answer your question - the only people i have "known" (chat boards) to have successfully come off suboxone did the long slow taper thing. 2 mg down to 1.5 mg. then down to 1 mg. then down to .5, then down to .25.
then every other day, then stretch that out. until you no longer need it.
it works if you can do it. it takes a lot of patience and fortitude. - neither of which i have found in myself to this point.
i take 4 mg a day. no more no less. it doesnt get me high. and it doesnt bother me to take it. i've been on it for a little over a year.
I think if you really want this you CAN DO IT. use this board, use any support that you can find at home or around you. it will take a long time, but IT CAN BE DONE. the people on this board are always here to help when you're having a bad day/hour/minute. so keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

good luck,

michelle

treehousier · 06-24-2008, 03:54 AM

I found your post while waiting for a reply to mine. I wanted more information on Sub I have just started taking it and to tell you the truth I havent felt this good in years. It helps so much with the depression that I have had while trying to stay off the narcs. Have you felt or know of people that find this? I went off the narcs for 2 years and felt like hell most of the time, the craving in my bones went away, I could function at some level but was never happy, never looked forward to anything, I functioned not enjoying anything. And I started useing again and after a year of that I knew I couldnt go there again. So I heard about Suboxone looked around for months to find a Dr. that wouldnt charge hundreds of dollors $700.00 or more until I found one and got on the meds. It is a God send the depression was gone along with the desire to use narcs. I could find a bucket of oxy and not even be tempted, with Sub I feel so normal and happy. I know this is not helping you but thought mabey talking to someone would help you evaluate your situation. I also am like you I have no one to talk to. And like you I live in Az. So I guess you could say your at the end of your situation with sub and Im starting. Was your exp. with sub worse than your addiction?. Keep in touch.

specwolf82 · 06-24-2008, 11:25 AM

im in the same situation,. everyone says that youre supposed to do a slow steady detox, but what happens when you have to pay over $600 all at once, and you can not do it becuase your 25 yrs old completely independent and have to many bills to pay to cover that, which is why i was going to try and detox myself using vicodin, or somethin. and I have tried the NA deal and it is good but, i live in a small community and i have a high profile job which i can not risk my secrecy. i dunno. im so confused, maybee i will just start taking pills save of enough money which will take about 3 weeks, then go to the doctor and try the very slow detox. but what happens when you have a bunch of pills that you know will make you high and your only supposed to take a quarter of one everyday.. (sarcasticly) yea, ok...ill make sure i do that!

StacyVictor · 06-24-2008, 02:54 PM

Hello. Let me first start out by saying this! Suboxone is the devil! If you don't know for 100% that you will NEVER have to go off of it. Don't start it. What I mean by 100% positive is this. I thought for sure that my doctor would prescribe me suboxone forever. Then he lost his license to practice medicine and all of his patients were left high and dry. I have gone to other suboxone doctors in the area and they ALL ripped me off! I"m so sorry I ever started on it. Kicking Vic's or Oxy's is 100 times easier than suboxone. I have done my research and have come across few to zero people that have successfully stayed off of it. Yes, being on suboxone made me a new person, I am happy, no depression, lots of energy, no anxiety, but what happens when you have to learn to live without it!! when i started it, it just came out. there weren't people on boards telling me these things. I only wish I had waited and done a little more research.