Husband with Alzheimer's

Carolch1660 · 06-28-2008, 07:30 AM

Hi, I'm new to this so bear with me. My husband of 54 years was diagnosed with Alzheimers about two years ago but the early onset was quite a while before that when he kept goofing up the checkbook. He was a controller for a Fortune 500 company and retired after 30 years so not being able to handle the checkbook should have sent up warning flags.
Now from what I can read about the various stages he's about 5 1/2. Needs help bathing and dressing but is still quite mobile and communicative though some of the stuff he thinks he sees is delusional.
What I would like to have some input on is how to handle him when he gets ugly which happens every so often but not daily. I still work 3 days a week to help keep my sanity and I have a neigbor who keeps a close eye on him. We have two daughters who live in the area about 40 minutes away. The oldest one teaches and comes over one day a week during the summer and takes him out, I also take him to the Adult Day Care Center when possible one day. He often fights me on this as they are locked in the room, but they really like him and it shows.
Is there more that I can do that I haven't thought of? I have power of attorney and that helps as his signature is no longer legible. I would like to keep him home as long as possible but when he has a restless night and I have to work the next day that is difficult. Both of us are in our 70's and so far my health has been pretty good,
I'd love any feed back or experience that anyone can share with me. Carol

Martha H · 06-28-2008, 07:37 AM

Just a quick note to tell you that you are not alone. Several women here have husbands with this condition, and their experiences will be invaluable to you.

My AD patient was my mother, so my experience was very different .. yet I greatly sympathise with you and know how hard it is to deal with this on a daily basis.

I urge you to come back often to this very helpful Board and get ideas and support from others in the same place.

Love,

Martha

Janie5301 · 06-28-2008, 08:57 AM

Welcome to the board Carol,
I just lost my sweet DH at 56 years old about a month and a half ago. He had Pick's disease and it also started out with the checkbook. He was a salesman for years and always as sharp as a tack so that was my first indication that something was up. After every test you can imagine which showed nothing, it was the neuropsychological testing that showed everything. After the visit to the neurologist he was put on Aricept & Namenda but I also requested an anti-depressant to help with what was to come. His doctor recommended Effexor and it did a wonderful job for my DH. I think because of his age and his sweet demeanor, he never really got ugly. Early on I also talked to him about what he wanted as far as his care and he wanted to be at home so at about stage 4 I hired in home caregivers, (Mom & daughter team) which he came to love. I still work full time so one of them was with him every day. I think it had a lot to do with the timing because I wanted him to get to know them before he progressed to a point where he would think they were strangers. You might also try to find things for him to do that he likes during the day that might keep him busy. Keeping a schedule really helps (doing the same things each day, ie. bathing, eating, walks etc) as this helps him feel secure and hopefully will reduce the ugly times. Keeping things simple and quiet around the house also helps. I think he probably gets very frustrated when he realizes that things are "normal" and he can't do the things he used to and he gets angry. If he had any hobbies or interests before, try to integrate some of those things into his day too but obviously at a level he can enjoy. You also need to take care of you too. Check with your local ALZ office if you haven't already, as they have many wonderful services and seminars that will help you cope. The 36 Hour Day is a dementia bible and also is a great source of information for you. I hope this has helped somewhat and please keep coming back...we are all here for you.

Love and prayers,
Janie

Carolch1660 · 06-28-2008, 09:30 AM

Thank you so much Janie, I appreciate all of your ideas. He's on Aricept and it sure helps. He had a cousin with Picks and boy was that ever sad. 56 is way too young to go. Jim seems content most of the time but not driving is the big bugaboo. His license is gone and right now I'm trying to get him off the insurance via the doctor to the state. Unfortunately, he was raised by his parents that work was the only saving grace and he never had any hobbies. I will talk with the doctor about the antidepressant on his next visit in 2 weeks. Thanks again, Carol

Janie5301 · 06-28-2008, 01:54 PM

You're more than welcome Carol and keep us updated on how things are going.

Love Janie