thanks for the honesty,really. these boards are annonymous for a good reason hon. knowing the whole story helps. we all do stupid things even to ourselves from time to time so,i am not here to judge you,just make sure you are healthy for that baby.
that is alot to have to deal with all at one time tho,geez,i don;t blame you for going off there a bit. its that feeling of having no control and fear of the unknown that can send us for that loop in life ya know? believe me,i CAN relate to that one,totally. how are things right now for you? i mean 'with' you,in your head? have things stabilized for you with all this now? hopefully this will heal as long as it gets left alone. if you ever get that urge to go there again,really try to find something,anything else that you can just 'do' with your hands hon,it will help to get thru that feeling. is the med actually working for you or do you feel like something else maybe needs to be done or added to keep this at bay? if this doesn't "feel' in control to you,you need to try a different med and possibly seeing a good therepist who can just help you to learn different ways of handling things when you feel overwhelmed again. having a baby can just bring on certain stressors that we cannot always control ya know?
seeing a therepist really is not big deal,you would be amazed at just how many people you know are seeing therepists. i have had to as well as my son,just to try and handle all that life has decided to slam us with. it does help,alot. only you really truely know where you are at. if the meds are not working for you,you DO have some choices and options here,thats all i am really trying to say. thanks for letting me know the whole picture,it does put some things in a much clearer perspective. just take the best possible care of yourself for that new baby,K? and do whatever you need to or have to in order to keep things on track. please let me know how things are going. FB