Interesting . . .

[empressofq13]

Hi, I am so sorry to hear about your Mother. I'm sure that has to be adding a lot of stress to your life right now. I've learned stress can really mess you up.

I myself don't take Ritalin but my daughter does. It took the Dr's 11 years to finally find the right meds for her. She has chronic depression and ADHD. She was even wrongly diagnosed by a Family Dr. with bipolar disorder. He put her on Risperdal and it about drove her over the edge an made her gain weight she did not need. She finally went to a real Psychiatric Dr. at Laureate Psychiatric Hospital in Tulsa, OK. She is the first who really seemed to know what she was doing. She took her off that immediately and said she wasn't bipolar. So first I think finding the right Doc is the most important! At least that was our experience.

The meds that finally works for her are (all generic brands if available), Ritalin, Straterra, and Prozac. I know it is different for everyone but she is a new person with these meds. BUT if she goes off any of them (Sometimes she can't afford to buy them) she knows almost immediately and is deeply depressed and angry. I can sure tell. She does not get a stimulant effect, but they calm her down. I don't know too much about Adderall, except a lot of kids around here use it as a speed and to lose weight. I'm sure almost any stimulant will have that effect on you unless you do have ADHD. At least that is what we were told.

I wish you all the best with your Mom and your meds. I am so sorry you are having to deal with so much. Good Luck.

[rheanna]

Thunor,

{{{hugs}}} for you and your mom. I'm sorry that you have to watch your mother like this.

Please know that when my father was dying, I couldn't stand to be around perky people. Perhaps some of your short temper is because you have to work with people who aren't having to deal with such heavy issues at this moment in their lives. You don't have the option of either sharing your burden with them or staying away from them while you are processing this. I would feel like slapping them for being so perky. And then going into a hole and hiding. You have to work. You can't get away.

Is there anyone else that you can talk with about losing your mother and having to watch her suffer?

More {{{hugs}}}

--Rheanna

[Thunor]

Thank you all sincerely for your support.

My intent was not to focus on my mother, but to admit that I do have another stressor in my life at the moment. Without getting into my relationship with my father, we'll just say things would be easier without him around. It's not that he doesn't mean well, it's just that he's been "lazy" in the same way as myself for all of his 70+ years and has a lot of the problems that go with said "laziness," like saying the wrong things at the wrong time and not knowing when to shut the heck up.

All that said, we're a large family and I do have support regarding my mother within the family circle. We're all going through the same thing, and at least for the time being, we're all closer and more honest with one another because of it. As difficult as things are at the moment, I think they're all a little surreal, and haven't really sunk in; there's a lot of anger toward her doctors and sometimes momentary sorrow, but nothing crippling as yet.

She's been given 6-18 months now that she's had her surgery and can eat again (she'd been unable to eat for months and lost 80 lbs), and has started chemotherapy, but we've been told that her chemo is pallative as her cancer is very widespread, more for pain management and short term life extension than as a cure.

I'm sorry for my digression, I didn't mean to turn this into the "poor me" board.

Empress,

I thank you for your post, I've been down the road of faulty diagnoses and incorrect meds myself, all spelled out in gory detail on this board. Feel free to search my post history to see the process I've been through, it's pretty much all here. The short version, a diagnosis of Disthymic Disorder and a Celexa prescription nearly killed me, and I've lost a great deal of faith in the health care system as a result of my "diagnostic" experiences. I'm glad to hear your daughter is doing better, I've seen the magic of Prozac firsthand, and know the sort of transformations of which it is capable.

Ultimately, the misdiagnoses I had are the reason I've been forced onto this journey of discovery with the help of nothing more than my General Practitioner, and the reason for this thread, to discover the med that is truly the "right one" for me, the one on which I get the best results.

Rheanna,

I covered the support side of things earlier in this post, please rest assured that I do have people to talk to and I don't know how anyone could ever go through this sort of thing alone. In regards to work, so far I've done very well at compartmentalizing and haven't had trouble interacting as yet. My bosses (who I've filled in on the situation) have been very understanding and have given me any days I've needed off; the rest of the team is uninformed, and likely will stay that way.

All that said, one of my ADD symptoms is I've always been extremely emotional. I cry very easily (which is tough to live with considering that I'm a guy that was raised in the '70s and '80s before boys were allowed to show emotion), and I've always been very open about my emotional state so I tend to get things out and they don't build up. My poor brother, on the other hand, is the type to bottle things up, so we're all trying to keep an eye on him to make sure we're there if something snaps.

Index,

Thank you for your support, it's a tough time, but knowing I have family and some understanding friends nearby makes things easier.

Bob,

I know it's a bad time to point out the irony, but once again, you and I seem like the same person, twenty years apart. My sincere condolensces for your mother, I think I can honestly say, I'm feeling your pain. The hardest part so far is that mom is frustrated and angry most of the time these days, she's been sick for such a long time, she's embarrassed about the apparatus she has to wear in order to be able to eat, she's in constant pain. All in all, she's still mom, but she's really grumpy most of the time and doesn't want us around. That's the worst part for a guy who's always admitted his status as a momma's boy, mom's wasting away and not only am I completely powerless to help, but mommy doesn't want to talk to me most of the time, so I've lost and important source of validation (listen to me whine about my self esteem while mom's the one dying, heh).

So there, guys, that's what you get for catching me on a day off, another marathon read. Sorry for the length, but I hope I set some minds at ease. Thank you all again for your support, the board has been lifeline for me for awhile now, and I expect it will continue to be for a long time to come.

To the moderators, I apologize for the digressive nature of the latter half of this thread, but I felt it important to respond to my friends here. Please edit the thread/my response as necessary if it has gone too far.

[index.html]

Originally Posted by Thunor

I'm sorry for my digression, I didn't mean to turn this into the "poor me" board.

No apologies necessary and we know you didn't mean that. It was the rest of us who focused on that one little bit of your post. This is an ADD support board. What's going on in your life affects your ADD. It's all relevant, IMHO.

Take care of yourself, Thunor. If you need to whine to us about your self esteem, since your mother isn't emotionally available, then whine away. That's what we're here for. And keep us posted on how you are doing med-wise.

[index.html]

Oh, one more thing...

I mentioned the peaks and valleys of Ritalin SR's effectiveness and how it might affect your moodiness. It'd be interesting to see if your irritability corresponds to those dips. The first drop is roughly 3 hours after you take it. It peaks in effectiveness after that and then starts to decline steadily after 6 hours. There's an especially rapid drop-off between hours 8 & 10.

What can you do about it if that's the problem? Well, not alot. But, it might help to know the cause of your irritability (if, indeed, this is the problem). And, it may indicate to you that you'd do better with one of the methylphenidates who have a smoother delivery system - like Concerta or Metadate.