Uncontrollable anger out of no where

[relmjs]

I'm almost 24, and I'm a nanny. I have such patience that people would never see me as the person to be burst out in anger over anything. But I have been noticing a pattern lately that I have been having uncontrollable rage and anger come out of no where.

I noticed it has started last July, shortly after I have moved in with my fiance. I chalked it all up to that it was just that little of awkwardness everyone goes through when you move in with someone new; you notice the quirks that irk you to no end. But most recently I hace noticed that I would get mad at him over little things, like not answering his phone, acknowledging me when I tell him something, or even not saying hi when he gets home from work. It has slowly progressed to throwing pillows at him or pinning him against the wall, etc.

He has never fought back once, he lets me over power him, and usually I snap out of it and I am filled with remorse and I hate myself. I have notice this is starting to put a wedge in our relationship (we don't even talk some nights) because we are both scared that something might be said wrong.

I have been trying to walk away, but there is a part of me that just nags me to explode with anger. Is there any way I can control more? I have found that doctors and therapists really don't care and that a drug solves everything.

[248]

im telling you, maybe u are getting a little depresed and could bring u impulsive, but the situation here can be controlled if u could give a little bit a space and room for you. Enjoy ur day < edited > thanks

[tapatia13]

Hi, I went through the same thing when I got married. So if you did like me, I tried to deal with the details at the beginning but then one day I just began exploding for nothing! so this is what I did:
-I wrote down what was bothering me and I told him, and ask him to do the same
-I admitted my crazy manias (like I can not stand to leave the bed undone all day or the dishes for 3 days) and he admitted his
-We defined who does what and our space
-I checked the time of the day I had this anger, and I notice it was between meals so my sugar was low and with the stress it got even lower
-I don't get PMS but that could influence too
Changes are stressful, so writing down can help to get your perspective. When anger gets you, you can try to get a shower, breathe and think the things you like about the person and then talk to him when you are more calmed.
Good luck!

[martharon]

I too was in you situation when i got married , i hope this is due to the adjustment we make within ourself to give space for another person in our life. initially i think of something and decide according to it, but my mind will not accept it and i end up contradicting my self so the only let out or to escape is to put the blame on others so that my mind gets relaxed thinking its the fault of someone and its not mine. I myself is still trying to rectify myself. by calming my mind by engaging myself in some work or other.

[Author58]

Have you thought about going for couples counseling? You don't have to be married, just have an unbiased third person listen to both sides and direct you towards solving the problems. In any relationship, there has to be compromise; no one always gets their own way. You began with anger over small things and now you are escalating to physical force. That's not a good sign. You should both treat each other with respect and discuss your differences in a calm environment with an open mind. When you're really ticked off, adrenaline pumps into you so you need to burn it off. I taught my kids to pound a pillow with their fists, go running or swimming or do some physical activity so they don't turn their anger inward (depression) or outward (and hurt someone else). Are you unhappy being in a relationship? What are you really angry about? Lack of control of your environment? Consider talking it out with a therapist. There's always hope that things can get better. I found a warm, loving psychologist who I know cares about me personally and I can call anytime I feel things are too difficult to face alone. I don't know that pills are the answer. Good luck.