Opiate Withdrawl

[Capri38]

Salem,
I spent a good hour last night writing a reply to you, but everytime I tried to submit it, I got an error message stating my password was incorect (even though it was) I checked it and tried several times until my whole post just up and disappeared! errr..I was so mad, too mad to start over.
Anyway, I'll try to remember what I wrote and start over. Basically what I said is that I know in my heart that you are right. Before he gets more emotionally involved he deserves to know more about me, but at the same time, I just want a chance for him to get to know me for the person I am now, without all the baggage I once carried. I had pretty much resolved myself to the fact that the only men I would attract are addicts, not that it would be a bad thing if they had been clean for a long time, but people who have not experience addiction can be closed minded because they just don't understand!
I have dedicated 100% of my time over the past year with my 6 year old daughter. I have allowed her to spend with her father, as long as I see that he takes good care of her, leaving me with a lot more free time.
I know it will come out eventually in one way or another, becuase so far he hasnt asked me about this big fleshy scar I have on my forehead I received a year ago when I fell during one of my drunken episodes. It was exactly that last incident that made me decide to leave my ex, because I knew if I stayed with him anylonger it would have only been a matter of time before I would be 6 ft under.
Today I am going out and buying a box of nicotene gum. I have been taking Zyban now for almost a week, so guess its time to try. So wish me luck on hanging up the smokes too!
Thanks for the love and advice
Peace to you all

[salem652]

capri,,hun,,1 thing at a time,,please if u smoke then smoke,,because at this very moment that is what u have and it is legal,,,1 challenge at a time,,i just mean if u think u can handle it ,,great,,but it is stressful,i no i smoke and to me hey,,i am quitting the illegal crap that is killing me and my family,yes i no cigerattes kill to, but at least its an legal,(kill,,lol) anyway all i am trying to say is ,,DO NOT PUT TO MUCH ON YOUR PLATE,because it sounds like you are,sweety..i just had a friend over dose 2 weeks ago,,and it sucks,when u just see that person a day or 2 or 3 before, there mother finds them,,it just seems that everyweek someone i no is dead from drugs,,hello what is wrong with the picture,,so i can b happy for me,,,yippee,but whay about that child, mom or husband or wife who just lots there soul mate,,and as for the gentleman u met i told ,,if he cares he will except you for you,hun,,and if he done UCK HIM,,he is not worth your hangnail,,lol..babe ireally need to run iwasnt gonna reply,because i got home and i am tied ,,but i feel i needed to share,and help,ok sweety keep chin up,ok love,,hey i no u can do it,,do u tell your daughter she can do anything as long as she goes to school& college,,well the same is for u,,,really think about it,,i not it sux to think,,but hey take care of u and your girl,,ok,,love yeah,,god bless,keep chin-up,,peace

[colinsdad0402]

Capri - Thanks. Posting with you has helped me so much. It's good to have someone to talk to abou this. Hang in there. Your cutting back is a major accomplishment!! Keep it up.

[colinsdad0402]

Everyone keep on trying. It is tough but woth it.

[jerrikehoe]

Hi C I just read your posts although I belong to another board "cancer" I won't spend a long time here but i have to tell you just a little of my story. Just the other day while moving around some furniture out fell a little blue pill its called halcion and had been my very beest friend for 10 years as a matter of fact I had a lot of "very best friends" and they all came dressed in pretty colors and fancy names such as xanxa, librium,paxil,elavil,serax, and oh so many more I was very popular not with my kids though but I didn't really mind that because me and my friends would sit down every night and have a few drinks to add a little relaxing mood to the hectic life i had to lead you know working etc and that was all interfearing with me and my "friends" oh and don'
t forget the smokes not drugs mind you "I would never do drugs" just cigarettes !!
I always felt that I as well needed these guys because "my brain" did not make me happy either. OH BOY was I in for a surprise!!
With going into more detail I just want you to know this I am a full time student,a grandmother and other than the cigs I am completely drug free and have been for 3 years now and yes I did it all on my own and I did it for me .
This is the happiest time in my life and I had to get to be 55 years old to find out my brain does make me happy and I can't believe when I go back over the years in my mind that I never knew who was living in my body. Youi can do what ever you want if you want it bad enough I am living proff of that . God bless you all. Oh yes I laughted when I found the little bill friend how often had I practically torn apart the house looking for these friends after a couple of days boozing to find my daughter had hidden them. Holy God what a mess of an existance that was and I am so happy to be where I am today with my book , my cat and a good cup of tea and of course my smokes that will be my next battle.

[This message has been edited by jerrikehoe (edited 06-04-2002).]