Crying

[NugIsHere]

hey trooper, yes that is a great name! I have been to about 7 or 8 rhuematologists (i dont think i spelled that right) but they all say i dont have fibro. I've resceached it a lot, I think last year, at this time I was posting on this board, Fibro, Womens Health and another one. I have what i call 'leg books', theyre creative memory books, i have 3 now...each with 60 pages 10x10, full, i write in them every couple days, it has picture, hospital braclets, cards, all my readmits from school, tape and cotton balls from some blood tests, lol yes i know how gross that is!! But anyways, I printed the posts,and theyre in one of my books. It's just so frusterating (dont think i spelled that right either, lol). Everyone else has accepted that I cant go to school, and that i cant have a normal life, Im trying to, but im not sure why i cant accept it. I think Im just waiting to one day wake up and everything be normal.. be back in 8th grade and have everything be perfect. I know that will never happen, but it sounds so good! lol.. my mom always tells me if i didnt have the determination that i do, the attitude and the personality, id be a basket case. Sorry if Im babbling, my pain meds do that to me..let me know if you have any other suggestions. I love these boards... I never get to complain and on here I can all i want lol. Thanks for the suggestion!

-Nug http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dizzy.gif

[Trooper]

Hey Nug,

Vent away baby, it's good to get things out. I take it that you journal too? (diary)

I do have two other thoughts besides the fibro.

One being Mercury toxicity. Have they checked your internal levels? Do you have mecury amalgam fillings in your mouth?

The other being Micoplasmas. Do a search on Garth Nicholson.

Have you had mono or any other weird virus?

I do feel for you, as I know the frustration of being sick and no one knowing why. And at such a young age.

Because your life is so different from before (not going to school), you are going through a 'greiving process'. Everyone goes through it. I think that you are stuck on acceptance. I don't mean that to sound bad, that's just what I got from your first post. That you hold it all inside and try to show everyone how strong you are, etc. That's the reason that you cry sometimes. You have to let it out honey, or you are going to pop. It's okay to cry. I know you don't want to accept this as your 'life', especially at your age. You want a 'normal' life and you don't have one right now. Deal with what you can do, not what you can't.

Do you talk to anyone else about this besides your mother (meaning talking about how this undiagnosed illness makes you feel)?

I'm the one probably rambling now. Hang in there.
-Trooper

[Anabasis]

Dear Crying Alot, first let's thank God that you can cry, it's indicative of being alive and intouch.

I just felt the dire need to caution you on the severity of drug addiction. Especially those so well loved and favorites like Percodan, Codeine, Oxycotin, etc. I was once a pain pill junkie until it accelerated into heroin and morphine. Let's just say I got robbed of 30 years of my life and today I have the victory.

My point? No doubt your pain is real, so is mine. But it wasn't until I gave it all to God and lay my worries at the foot of the cross and prayed that I would one day be set free from all the anguish of my weaknesses; body, mind and soul.

I was immediately delivered from a myriad of health problems from addictions to viruses. From depression to suicide. From rejection to acceptance. From anger to peace and from despair to hope.

I overcame future attacks by the power of my testimony and how God met me at such a low point in my life. You can be just as blessed. I will offer up a prayer this very moment and I will continue to intercede at the throne of grace where our God reigns until you have a real breakthrough in your condition.

My only regret is that I cannot be with you right now and pray with you.

This is not a religious ploy to influence anyone regarding what God to worship. I seek not to offend anyone but to minister hope and healing by the power of God within me. And I in no way am suggesting that you stop seeing a doctor or taking your medication. What I have doesn't come by either yet the healing is forever.

I still struggle with another illness (HCV) but I have been able to live a very happy and fulfilling life and symptom free. Like I said, I've got the victory! My desire is that you have the same.

[NugIsHere]

hi anabasis. Im not really religious at all, and don't really know if I believe in god or not. Ive never been to church, but I know a lot of people who do pray for me. I know certain churchs in my city that Im on the prayer list. So many people tell me about being addicted to pain meds, but I know for a fact if i wasnt in pain, i wouldnt take them. I also know if I am on them for years and years, it won't hurt me. My moms bestfriends has MS and has been on vicodin for 8 years. I believe if you have a disease or are in pain, I don't believe praying, or a special cream is going to make it better.. Theres something inside your body thats making you feel like that ya know?

-Nug http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dizzy.gif

[Tangle]

Nug

Theoretically there is an answer to every question. There is a specific cause for every effect. If you really want answers, solutions, healing for what appears a rare illness, you must be very thorough and broad in every sense. Be objective. Keep a diary. Reveiw doctors results. What about dietary factors that i mentioned before?

Yes there are illnesses that could be classified as symbolic, or have some spiritual cause. Stuff like hate, fear, untruthfullness, can effect health. C.S. Lewis said: "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speakes to us in our conscious, shouts to us in our pains". I think i quoted him right, err.

Well, just be determined and optimistic.