My teenager

[cherifree]

My daughter was diagnosed with ADD when very young, but I was reluctant to put her on drugs.

Recently she actually asked me to get her some help. She is 14, and had flunked 8th grade twice now. She has mood swings, trouble focusing, she makes plans with one friend and then goes to another friends house without telling the first one. She throws outrageous tantrums when she doesn't get her way. She always appologizes for her awful behavior later and feels bad about it, but says she just can't control it.

I took her to an MD who put her on Paxil and Adderall. About a week later I got a call from school saying that she was hearing whispering voices that said to hurt herself, and in chior class she passed out, and when she woke up she had safety pins stuck in her fingers and there was blood everywhere. She didn't even know where she got the safety pins.

I took her to the county hospital and got her admitted for observation. She went willingly and wanted to get help. That was Tuesday. Tonight I went for our daily visit, and she was cussing and throwing a major tantrum. She said she hated her teacher and wanted to leave NOW! I explained that they needed to keep her at least until they could evaluate her and find out what meds might help. She said I could either get her out of there, or I could leave because she hated me.

The nurse said this wasn't uncommon, that when reality set in they went a bit haywire. They are starting her on Paxil tonight. They can't tell me how long she will have to stay. I don't know what to do. I want her to get help. The structured environment is probably good for her. I was never able to make her go to bed at a certain time, or eat at a certain time, etc. But it is a major shock to her system since she's been free to do as she pleases for 14 years. I know much of this is my fault. I am a single parent, and no where near a perfect parent.

She needs help, but is this the way to do it? Any input is welcome.

[mlgable]

I am glad your daughter is getting the help that she needs. When you start hearing the voices that is a real sign of a problem and time to get some professional help. Be supportive for your daughter and visit her as often as they permit at the hospital but expect to see some pretty nasty behavior and have her beg to come home etc. So long as you feel comfortable with the way the docs are treating her just put you chin up and try to accept that in the long run this will help her tremendously. Be sure that they outline a discharge plan when she is ready to come home so that you have some idea where to go from here. You might also benefit from talking to a counselor yourself. My brother in law always heard voices in his head after excessive drug abuse and so long as he stayed on the medication he was fine but when he forgot to take his medication the voices would come back and tell him to kill himself etc. His end result wasn't so lucky. The voices won and he commited suicide. You daughter is lucky to have such a caring mom to get her the help she needs badly. Good Luck.

[Julie-K]

Dear cherifree

You sound like a very caring mother trying to do her best, take it easy on yourself.
I will be thinking of you and your daughter and hope everything goes well for both of you.
Jules
(Please keep us up to date with how you are both going, mlgable has given you some fantastic advice and there are loads of people here who would want to support you)

[cherifree]

I've kinda got my days all mixed up, things have been hectic. But three days ago was awful, she cried and threatened and threw a tantrum wanting to come home. She said she wouldn't talk to me unless I took her home. I told her I loved her and left.

The next morning I spoke with her doctor and they said that her "new goal for the day" was to have a much better visit with me and behave better. They started her on Paxil twice a day. She seemed very groggy the first day, and still yawns quite a bit, but seems MUCH more stable.

The great news is that she does not have ADD at all. They said the tests show that she is extremely inteligent and creative. They still have a few tests to run, but at the moment they believe she is mainly just very depressed. Hopefully the Paxil will help that. The doctor said that being very depressed made focusing and staying on task very difficult, and that it seemed quite similar to ADD, and is often misdiagnosed. I believe that the ADD medicine she took for about a week was what made her start hearing voices. She now says that two days ago she heard a little whispering voice that she could barely hear, and yesterday she didn't hear any voices. So hopefully it was just the medication, Adderall. The Paxil really does seem to be lifting her mood. She may be released Tuesday.

My new problem will be getting her to start cleaning her room, doing her homework, and not throwing tantrums, all of which I thought were caused by ADD. If she isn't depressed, she may be able to focus better, but she hasn't been made to behave by me, simply because I thought she couldn't help herself.

I have to figure out how to set boundaries and rules and make her abide by them, At the age of 14 that would be difficult for anyone, much less someone who has run amuck for most of her life. Hopefully I can start with small steps. But she can be very defiant when she doesn't get her way. All this time I thought it was her ADD, so I didn't push back too hard.

We will be getting some counselling. Pray for us.

Cheri

[#1Texan]

H Cheri
If you havent' yet, please check out the bi polar board and make a post. There are a lot of helpful folks over there.

My best to you and you are in my prayers.

Take care

Tex