what could possibly be wrong with me?

[bassie]

Hello
I am sorry brightstar about your sister's Hodgkin's disease. That is awful for you.

Yet I can reasure rufee that a diagnosis like that would have been picked up as a dysplasia or abnormal cells as Cha-Cha said. Without a doubt!!!

[trixxy1981]

Hi there
I shouldnt worry if the doctor has told you that there is nothing wrong with you then there isnt i think that you should just calm down a bit and try and relax i know that it dosent sound easy but try because if you doint you are just gonna make yourself worse believe me so try youe best out on your favorite music take a long hot bath and lye there and relieve your tension and sleep your troubles away

[chrislvj]

it sounds like you're now having anxiety, and depression is co-existing with it. i would talk with you're doctor about this, thiers alot of help for anxiety and stress. good luck

[IcePrincess]

Hi Rufee,
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.I myself went through almost the same exact thing from 1997 until about 2000. It started with my Mom having open heart surgery,I had to take care of her when she came out, I am the only child.As I was taking care of her,I was not taking care of myself.She had surgery in March and in May I was diagnosed with walking Pneumonia.I was treated and after about a week I was ok...I thought.Pretty soon My glands were swollen,I couldn't eat,I would gag trying to swallow food and I was totally convinced I was dying.I went back to my Dr(who I have been using for 19 years)and he told me that I had lost 13 pounds since my last visit,which had been approximately a month.I told him I thought I had cancer,and he assured me that I did not..but he ran every test imaginable just to ease my mind.He was right....He put me on Xanax and Klonopin and told me to start eating slowly or I would end up in the hospital...After a week I was in his office crying and telling him I had an auto-immune disease and that my own body was killing me.He took my blood,told me to calm down and stop worrying...My iron was so low that it wouldn't even register,he gave me a B-12 shot...Zoloft..and told me to keep taking my anti-anxiety medications and that he would call me when the results came in.He called and told me my worst Physical Problem was Low iron, but that I was suffering from PTSD...OCD...anxiety and depression...But that I would be OK.It took me 2 years to come to terms with the fact that I was not dying, I was being ruled by fear and anxiety,and i started Praying for God to help me overcome this...I can now say that when I feel these thoughts and feelings coming back,I will take my medication...Breathe deeply and get through it.
By the way, My lymph nodes are still swollen after all these years...but from what I understand,they will probably stay that way.

I am sorry this was so long,but I just wanted to let you know there are others out there like us,and we can beat it...

Good Luck

[Rufee]

IcePrincess, Im glad everything is okay for you now - sounds like you went through something very similar, and it is very good to hear that you got through it! Gives the rest of us hope yet!

Thank you sooooooo much for all of you who replied, I have read and considered each of your responses - however I still feel that (like IcePrincess did) I should get a full medical examination just in case.

The problem I have is that I dont actually feel all that anxious, or maybe I dont really know I am being anxious, I dont know! Im definately depressed though, have been for years...

Im not particularly keen on the idea of taking drugs to treat depression, although if its the only way of getting my life back in order I might have to do it. Its just that anti-depression drugs mess with your brain chemistry (seretonin levels if I remember rightly) and Id really rather let my head sort itself out naturally (if possible).

PS - bassie, I have been trying not to touch my nodes over the last few days and its going pretty well so far!