New to this board..need support

[Banker]

I have gone through withdrawals many times and I'm a single mom with three young ones. My sisters and another couple of friends of mine know but my boyfriend doesn't know OR my ex husbands (yes, plural). Both are fathers to my children so if they find out, they will try to sue for custody. One of them already tried and is causing me to go bankrupt because of the attorney fees I had to pay but we did finally settle after a year and a half and I have primary custody. He was actually fighting me while I was pregnant and then for 8 months after that. It was a complete nightmare. Anyway, I can't and didn't tell my boyfriend either because I just know he would leave me. We've been dating almost a year and I don't want to lose him. I'm taking Suboxone now and he doesn't even know that part. Whenever I would get sick, I would tell him that I had a virus that I 'must have caught from one of the kids'. Anyway, he would come over sometimes and help but not alot. I normally just had to take care of them by myself and it is SO hard. I would just tell your husband that you have the flu. Please keep us posted and let us know how you are doing. You can get a lot of support and help here, I know I have. I haven't had hydros in over a month now... Of course, I AM on Suboxone though but I feel really good and it's helped me with the cravings, depression and everything.

[Philster2003]

StayMom;

Sorry for getting back to you so late, I've caught this bronchitis thing and I'm really not well lol I hate being sick! lol

OK, is 40 pills all you have to work with? That’s not many and your taper looks to be OK but it's very steep and that’s why your going to feel the withdrawal. What was the time interval when you are taking these, has it been every 4 hrs. or 6 hrs. or all at once?

How are you going to taper, when you take your 4 pills will you take them every 6 hrs? Then when you go down to 3 that’s a 25% reduction which is very steep but better then your first reduction of 33% (6 down to 4) From your schedule it looks like you will 3.5 pills leftover? So the way this looks to play out for about the next 30 days you are going to feel not so good, not a CT withdrawal scenario but like you have a mild virus or flu the whole time. I did the same steep curve when I tapered because I was impatient with getting off the pills. I felt fairly bad the whole time, not enough to put you in bed but overall crummy.

I can understand your thoughts and feelings on nobody knowing you were taking the pills, I was in the same situation until I confessed to my wife. No friends, family or work mates new I was so deep into the pills.

Hang in there, you can do this and as I always say you are much stronger then you realize or think you are, trust me on that. And slow and steady wins the race so you have a steep taper but don't rush it if you can. You have my utmost admiration and support!!!!! And when this is over you will realize how wonderful life really is without the pills, its truly an amazing thing but life is really nice without substance aid.

Just call out and will help as we can

Forgot to say that maybe save and use the Xanax at the very end, the max daily dose on Xanax is like 10 mgs right? I assume you have X quantiy of .5 or 1 or 2mg pills? Just a thought

phil

[stayhomemom]

To everyone who has replied....thank you all so much. Wow...this is so hard to do. I'm finding that it is consuming every second of every day....it is ALL I think about. Nicole...your words were touching and I thank you for the reply. You are so right...my family is a dream come true. I am living the American Dream and I cannot afford to mess this up. I have to break this addiction.

Hydro knows no boundaries...it is a faceless addiction...imo

Phil: Where did you come from? You are truly a blessing. I cannot thank you enough. I didn't realize my taper was so severe until I found myself getting sick around 2am. UGH!!! I'm not really taking them at any set time. Would this help? I'm trying to hold out as long as I can during the day before taking any. Yesterday I didn't take anything until 2pm when I took 1.5, then around 6pm I took another 1.5 and around 9pm I took my last pill. This is a milestone for me. I failed to mention that most days I was also drinking atuss, hydrotuss, tussionex, anything...along w/the pills. Who knows how much I was taking. I was afraid to keep track. In any event, today I was planning on doing the same except maybe just take 1 pill instead of 1.5 at a time....tomorrow I'm down to 3 pills and so on. You're right about the xanax...I'm definitely saving them for the end. I am also taking phenergan (sp) at night. It used to make me REALLY drowsy when I took it so I'm hoping it will help w/the sleeping. I'm also starting an intense exercise plan. Walking the neighborhood, treadmill, light weight training. I've read on this board that exercise really helps and hot baths! Is there anything else I should be doing or doing differently? Your advice is unmeasureable. God Bless you Phil and keep you. I truly mean this!

N8bocho....keep the faith. This board is amazing. Your anonymous here so no one needs to know. Keep coming here and everyone will support you. I took me about 8 weeks to finally post and I feel so great having done so. The people here REALLY care and really really want to help. Good Luck and keep in touch.....

To everyone else...Banker....thank you.

[Philster2003]

StayMom;

OK sounds good so far, I would try and get on a more even schedule with taking the pills. If for example you are on the 3 a day schedule take 1 pill every 8 hrs. That may help even out the ugly side of withdrawal. When you go down to 2.5 pills take every 8 hrs, so that would be 1 pill, 1 pill and .5 pill over a 24 hrs period. Its a shame you do not have a greater quantity of pills so the taper would not be so steep but it is what it is so given you probably can't CT if you want to remain anonymous with whoever if you know what I mean. Be careful with the Phenergan, don't use it like 28 days in a row, use it when you need it, take a break if you can. The Xanax will help with sleep in the end but don't take that more then 5-7 days OK?

Exercise is a great plan, it will help with withdrawal side effects and with sleeping and peace of mind. I used to walk miles each day and it definitely helped me.

If you notice I also live in TX and I also live in Houston so we have something in common lol (Good weather for starters and more after that once your thru with the pills lol)

You are an amazing lady and I mean that, to get this far and create your plan as you did indicates to me a very strong and determined person and for that you really have my respect and admiration. As fortunate as you feel about having such a great and wonderful family for support they should also feel the same of you!!!!!

Stay with us so we can help as you need OK?

Edit: Oh one more thing, you are not alone in taking the dex or tuss stuff as I did the same thing at the end lol I was told it would help max the pill buzz. We are creative aren't we lol

Happy New Year to you Mom

phil

[stayhomemom]

Phil...thanks so much. I don't have that many pills left because I guess when I had a greater supply I kept thinking...a few more days of buzzing and THEN I will cut down. I am so tired of feeling tired and blah.

Thank you so much! I will take your advice on the spacing the pills. I know this will help. I didn't feel that bad yesterday and I feel okay right now. I just know that as I taper it will get worse, right?

I like it here in Houston. We moved here from Florida about 4 years ago. Great place for families!!

Keep in touch and anymore advice you have will be greatly appreciated. I'll keep you posted. Thanks again!!