I "think" I can do it

[John 3:16]

I was prescribed Darvocet after the birth of my first child for migraine heahaches and used it properly. Sixteen months later, I had my second child. He was premature and a very sick baby. When he came home he had colic and never, ever slept. I was so sleep deprived and hormones raging and a sixteen month old on top of it all, that I kept a headache. They bumped me up to hydro then and that's when I noticed I was "supermom" on it...and it was all downhill from there (that was in 1999). I got pregnant in 2001 and stopped using the hydro and went back to Darvocet throughout my pregnancy for the headaches and never really had a problem, but my dosage was still pretty low back then. After my third was born, I went right back to abusing the hydro because of the "supermom" affect. It wasn't until several months ago that tolerance just shot up...one week I was at my usual ten and the next I was at 20! I am only 5'4 and about 115 lbs....don't know why I am not dead, just so thankful to God that I am not!

Started the sub in November and stayed on it about a month before I stopped it and went on a 2-3 week hydro binge! Went back to the sub several days later and just stayed on it about two weeks and got off. After I did the cold-turkey from the sub, I had a terrible experience on day 5 I think and got back on the sub. I was just taking on every 3 or 4 days, but haven't had any in 6 days, so I hope I just can continue to go without!

Hope you could understand all that craziness!

Please hang in there...depression is one of the main reasons alot of people cave and go back to using so be strong and know that it is only temporary. Are you on an anti-depressant by chance? I am! I think it has helped alot this go round! I always caved because of the lethargy and depression, but maybe with this anti-depressant...I won't!

There is light at the end of this (LONG, LONG) tunnel! Hang on!
Michelle

[sammi]

Originally Posted by samilam

Sammi, Congrats on getting off those things by yourself, its hard. I too have 3 kids and a hefty Lortab addiction. I am a chronic relapser and have chosen Suboxone to help me. I know what you mean about the bordom, I stay at home with my kids as well and I think somehow the way the pills makes you feel, it numbs the fact that you are alone, in a house surrounded by kids. No real life. (for me anyways)

I'm no expert by any means and I have never been able to beat it so I don't feel I can give any advise, but I wanted to say congrats, good luck and welcome to the board.
Sam

Hi Sam, I wanted to say thanks for the encouraging words. It has really helped me out during these last few days knowing that I'm not the only one going through this. Although, I don't wish this upon anyone.
So are you still taking Lortab or are you only on the Suboxone? Also, sorry I'm just replying back to you, I promise I did not see your post until a few minutes ago. Hope you had a good day.
Sammi

[sammi]

Originally Posted by upatnite58

hi sammi, creeky and michelle....to answer your questions, i was taking oxycodone 10/325..it was in german as i was living in europe at the time but it was 10mg oxycodone/ 325 mg aspirin (not APAP). i got up to between 10 and 15 a day, and how i didn't get an ulcer, i don't know. i now pay the price because i can't touch any kind of anti-inflammatory. makes me sick, and with my ever increasing back pain, i am at a loss. cannot take vioxx, celebrex either. makes me sick to my stomach. i stopped in 1988, when we returned to canada, as i knew i couldn't get them here as readily. plus i was damned scared. took them initially as a result of a car accident in 1984. so i used (ever increasingly) for 4 years(from the age of 26 to 30). quit when i knew we were coming home. looking back don't know how i got through it, was pretty sick for a couple of days...but i knew (or i was convinced) that i couldn't get them any more. i did have cravings, but i had no way to go back to my habit that i knew of so i just lived without them. after awhile the cravings just went away, i guess. haven't really thought about them in years until the doc mentioned them to me a while back as a solution to my severe back pain. have to admit it opened up a wound that i thought was long since healed. i know i can't go back there..period. but i know how it is for you guys, as i was there and i understand. i was lucky in that i had a very understanding husband (and still do), even though he didn't know the extent of the problem. please don't say that you're too weak to look elsewhere for pills, say you are too smart. whatever emotion keeps you clean, be it fear, shame, weakness..etc...it doesn't matter. staying clean does...strength to all of you, whichever method you choose to stay clean and may God ease the way...PS. never went to meetings because i was too much of a coward to go....

Upatnite58, thanks for all the information. I'm glad to know that someday I will get back to "normal", for whatever that may be! My Doctor did give me some samples of Vioxx. Do you think I should try those? Are should I just continue taking Advil and maybe give it a month or two of being clean and then start it?
Again, thanks for all the information.
Sammi

[upatnite58]

hi guys...can't say to dismiss the vioxx, it heped me before i got the nausea, and i only wish i could continue on it. i am now looking at neurontin...know that you will reach a point that sub or even methadone is a viable alternative...and the hydro or oxy is not acceptable...godspeed in your recovery...

[sadsister]

Sammi-
Just hold on-you are gonna make it thru!I think you are past the worst of it..in terms of the physical..the cravings/boredom are a tough one-but try to stay busy-but also i find pampering myself helps alot too.
A nice warm bubble bath at night/candles/inscence/some nice treats to munch/reading/comfy stuff..nice underthings..girly stuff..have you considered meeting AA/NA?They also can be helpful.
Stay strong..Goddess bless!
Heather