how did your dependancy erupt?

upatnite58 · 03-31-2004, 07:00 PM

just wondering if anyone can tell me..how did you get started? mine started from an over abundance of the drug oxycodone..it was an easy drug to get in my health care profession at the time. i quit when that over-abundance came to an end. it seems that most of you started from a DR's script?? is this correct?? please..if you can spare the time..please let me know how this all started for you...thx....

spark-o-cet · 03-31-2004, 07:25 PM

mine started with a bottle of tussionex and i can still recall how good it made me feel after a few spoonfulls.then came the pills and the rest is history but i did not get hooked because of drs it was all done by myself and i blame noone but myself-spark

rosietee · 03-31-2004, 07:26 PM

Hi, upatnite, funny you should ask, I have been pondering this question myself lately.

I don't think I would have even thought of abusing pain killers had it not been for my boyfriend when I was 17. We were at my grandmother's house and he found her darvocets and said it was really cool and fun to take 5 at one time. Otherwise, I never would have taken more than as prescribed. [message to parents: it does matter who your kids hang out with, not that you didn't already know.] Didn't really even like them at the time. Took a bunch when the same boyfriend broke up with me to feel better (i.e., feel nothing). After I had a nasal surgery in my 20's, I was cooped up and started enjoying taking vicodin to kill the time and started kind of liking them then.

Also, before in high school and college and when I worked in the restaurant business, I had recreationally used alot of different drugs, though never heroin, because it was never offered, nor pcp, because I knew someone whose brother had killed himself because of it and I had met a guy whose brain had been fried on it. When I moved out to the West Coast, I decided I would not associate with, live with, or date anyone who was involved with drugs, and had such a goody 2 shoes image that they were not offered to me out here. The main reason I wanted out was that the crash from cocaine was just too terrible for me even in the best of times, which was the only time I used it (fun parties, young and tan), that I cannot imagine what the crash would be like if my life circumstances were terrible. And I didn't think I could say no if it was offered. Always said I was glad drugs were illegal, because I didn't know where to get them and if I could go to the grocery store and buy them I probably would.

Later, I would suffer from severe sinus headaches, so I would get prescribed 30 Vicodin ES at a time and would take a few extra just for fun on the weekends. Eventually I started looking in people's medicine cabinets and going to the doctor even when my headache was not that bad. What finally did me in was discovering the internet (btw, I will not share how I figured out where to go to get what I wanted, but there are plenty of places that will take your money and not send anything, so don't do it). Changed credit card address to home (was going to work, where my husband would receive and pay bills) and charged it up. Basically stole money from my family. I was found out when my husband finally saw the credit card balance, though I had been trying to quit for awhile.

So now here I am going to NA meetings and getting ready to go into detox. That is my story! You can't get oxycodone on the 'net, or I am sure I would have gone that route. Alot of the online sources are drying up, so that my "over-abundance" will also be at an end. They are beginning to be more strictly monitored as well. I know there are legitimate pain patients who get the drugs online, but it has been one of the worst things that has happened to me in my life--could have cost me my family, my life.

Wow, probably more than you bargained for and I didn't even have time to write this (should be working), but I had been thinking about this same subject, as I said. I'm interested to see what other responses you get on this thread. Maybe I am the only blabbermouth though, lol.

rosie

upatnite58 · 03-31-2004, 08:09 PM

spark..thank you for your reply...honest and informative..good for you in not blaming anyone..

rosi..your response was MORE than worth the post...thank you for opening up like that...took some guts...

BTW..i do not solicit drugs over the internet..i have been clean for 16 yrs... i was just wondering how you all get them so readily...

this post is still open..if anyone has anything to add..please do so...thx again

scaredandnpain · 03-31-2004, 08:27 PM

Hi there.... I think about this question all of the time. Basically thinking about if I could go back and do things over, at what point would I change it. In high school and college, I tried anything that I was offered and never had a hard time turning ANYTHING down. Maybe with the exception of LSD. That was my fave!!! Luckly, it wasn't around very often. So basically, MaryJane. I never drank because my father is an alcolohic and I don't like even being around drunk people. SO, skip a few years down the line, I am 29 now. I was in a very bad relationship that I didn't know how to cope with, I had just had gastric bypass surgery and feeling completely like my life was just one big royal mess. BTW, I went through surgery (June, 2002) with no problem putting the pain pills down. But I changed one addiction (food) to another (pills).
My boyfriend took them for back pain. Every now and then I would take one and noticed that it would make me feel "in the mood", know what I mean. My life was so screwed up that I enjoyed the escape from reality and feeling sexual. Funny huh? Took a pill to want to be close to my boyfriend. Now, it seems the opposite. No sex drive at all.
But after I lost about 60 lbs. I was having terrible back pain. I went to my family doctor. He sent me home with Soma and Lortabs. Having my own script made me think that it was ok that I was taking them. Of course, I was taking 4 every 4-6 hours, instead of the 1-2, as perscribed. I had an MRI and they found the causes of my back pain. I was sent to a Pain Management doctor and he gave me 90 10mg. Methadone for my chronic back pain, along with 180 Oxycodone and 120 Soma's. I noticed that when I was taking the pain pills that I didn't eat and had no want for food. This was the added bonus since I had just had surgery. But, after taking the Methadone, I had a reaction that ended me in detox, by my choice. I had a three day panic attack and my tongue swelled twice the normal size with about 100 tiny blisters all over it. I called the Pain Management doctor and reported this and his reaction was, and I quote, "I don't think your damn tongue is going to fall off." The he called me in 120 Lortab's. Anyway, I went into detox on Tues. at 3:00 pm and was sent home Thur. at 10:30 am because the wd's were over. I went to 4 weeks of group meetings, 4 days a week, 3 hours each. I was clean for three months, but I was still with the boyfriend. One night we were at his mothers and I decided that I wanted that high and like a idiot, I thought just one and that would be it. That was in July, 2003 and it went from one to two a few times a week to a raging addiction by October. That lead me to doctor shopping. A pharmacy called all of the doctors and somehow, by the grace of god, the law wasn't involved. I was clean for a few weeks but went right back to taking them just not getting my own perscriptions. But now, I am taking what I get and get them from other sources too. I can take 10-15 Lortab 10's a day or I can take one and stay out of withdrawls. But I don't get any high anymore.
Basically, right now, i am working up the strength to go cold turkey. I am starting to get injections on my back and hoping that will help the pain issues, so hopefully I can do this. I have such a hard time with the cravings, depression and lack of energy. That is what keeps me on these. It is time to just bite the bullet, go CT and start meetings!!!!
Good luck with whatever you decided to do and this is a great question!!!