seriosuly ill?

[sonalised]

Hi, don't know where to start really. So I'll just say what's on my mind.

A year and a bit ago something happened to me that I felt extremely dizzy/faint and had to sit in the shade for a bit (it was outside in the summer), while sitting I knew something was very bad, my head was so dizzy. I could see people look at me concerned. I stood up and walked home, but it was a very scary journy back home. I was walking fast, but I still felt extremely dizzy... I felt I was gonna drop dead or something. BAck home I went to bed to relax... but my head was still dizzy. I had some soup later. Then it seemed as I was feeling a little better, I took a shower (was a very hot day in Britain) and went to my girlfriends place. My head was still dizzy but not as bad, but later in the evening, it was getting worse, I even went outside to get some fresh air but I was feeling so dizzy, my head felt as it was spinning around everything around me was dizzy and I was very worried.

I don't remember exactly what happened to detail, so I'll bullet-point out what I remember.

--Extremely dizzy moments everyday.
--Feeling sick and sometimes even vomiting.
--I remember I could walk and go out, but it's cuz I had to, and I would still feel very dizzy.
--Some weeks later, I become extremely weak, hardly able to move.
--I become even slimmer, loose wight.
--Water-ish poo everyday (diarhea is it? don't know how to spell)


My GP said I was fine and just wait and see if all that goes away. Visited her several times, everytime she said the same. Blood tests were normal.

Went to see another GP, after 5minutes in his little office, he said It was depression and gave me Citalopram (20mg a day). Started taking the pills. 1st pill made me feel very sick and vomiting + sad. 2nd pill made me vomit and extremely sad, I wanted to cry for no reason, I was saying things to my girlfriend that shocked her, I was saying such depressive things about life. 3rd pill, after I took it, I was ok, but later I felt a very strange sensation coming on me and it was growing VERY SLOWLY and then something happened, I was panicky (I just was, wasn't planing to, my mind was just doing it by itself), felt I was going crazy, I was on my knees, vomiting, and feeling as I was going super crazy, the thoughts and visions I had in my mind were horrible. Later I called the anbulance which never came but phoned back and said I shoiuld stoptaking the pills and see a doctor the next morning. While waiting for the ambulnace, I was very cold, I was shaking A LOT and heavily, I had a very fast hot sensation in my head at the back and following by a very COLD and it went away. My mouth was dry.

Next morning went to see a doctor in the emergency, he said it was some virus maybe and a little anxiety. But that day I was feeling good.

Later on, things were the same, sick, dizzy... very bad vision, dotty, fuzzy, blurry vision.

lasted for a very long time. for months...

after i stopped the pills, I started to have VERY bad dreams EVERY single night... I felt scared/worried all the time for no reason, i got to bed i'm scared, fall asleep, have bad dreams, the minute i wake up i have a feeling of fear right away. and it repeats every day.

I was experiancing depersonalisation/derealisation too... it was VERY bad... I felt out of my body, my hands seem weard and unatached EVERYTHING around me was SO unreal and even myself I felt as I was not real...look at myslef in the mirror and I don't seem real or think... who am I? I look different! i had that 24/7 for a few months then it slowly was getting better...

after the pill:

--still dizzy
--bad vision, blurry.,dotty
--a VERY bad/sick feeling of self... inside my body felt very shaky, everythign seemed shcoked/shaking in my body
--extremely bad anxiety
--extremeply bad depression
--extremely bad depresonalisation/dreralisation


so i was told I have anxiety dissorder.. seen councelling, but didn't help much... waiting for another coucelling appoinment and some CBT. my current GP says it is anxiety... though, she thought that MAYBE i have some abnormal epilepcy...

however, everyone seems to think it's anxiety... but i don't know... I do not have any of the bad dizzy sympots I sued to have... but what I'm left with is... I get panick attacks from time to time... anxiety... dp/dr too... but I also feel sick a lot... just don't feel well... my muscles seem like they are twiching or something inside me and makes me feel ill... i get dizzy too sometimes but, it's a normal dizzy... where as before it was some ubnormal dizzyness that was just so stong and strange. I have more bad days than good... maybe I have 1 or 2 days a mointh where i wake up and feel good, take a shower do exercices... and look forwards to my day... but usually i have trouble getting out of bed cuz i feel sick... stange...


my mental doisturbances are...:

--morning when i wake up, half asleep half awake, i feel really wierd in my mind, it's rasing, fighting, thoughts are really strange but i do not want them or start them, my brain just has them, and i can't stop them, and i feel scared and get very bad feelings but then i fall back asleep...
--get moments where i feel i'm in a computer game and i feel like going crazy
--going crazy, not panicky, but totally going crazy, mind feels out of control.

so, i don't know what is wrong... i do not take any pills only some herbal things hwnre i have panick attacks they calm me down... i feel that soemthing is very bad with me but everyone says it's just anxiety...


my histpory:

--did swimming at the age of 10 for a few yars
--exercise
--play woith frinds outsied
--at the age of 15 took up basketball and dziu-dzi-tsu
--mornig exercises


--stopped all at the age of 17, started smoking
--moved had no friends was lonely
--made friends
--experimented with some street drugs, weed 4 times and all times had VERY bad effects.
--speed, 7pills in total, once in a club had 2 and half extasy pill... was good, but later i looked at my friend and i saw an evil face... he was bleeding, but it was in my head only! he was fine!
--tried amphetamin
--had a very stressful relationship... very stressfull


now, I'm afraid to go out on my own sometimes incase i feel dizzy or panicky...

i feel much better to what i used to feel like, just still get VERY strange sensations in my body and especially my mind...


anyone know what it could be? is it REALLY just anxiety or could it be something else?

how can I get a FULL mental and phisicxal examination? to see if I'm well or if something is wrong with me?

thank u for yourt replies!

[BRC777]

I am very sorry to hear about your situation. Back in 1999 after leaving the university I was attending I became very dizzy and felt like I was going to pass-out. I drove myself to the local emergency room and they hooked me up to ekg's did all kind of blood work and everything came back normal. So they released me and sent me home. When I got home I felt a little better, but I was still convinced that something major had happened to me. The next day same thing happened felt dizzy like I was going to pass out, wanted to vomit ( I thought I had a stroke or something---by the way I was 22 at the time and now I am 28 (male). Went back to the hospital where they did major tests, cat-scans of the head, EEG's to test the electrical activity of the brain, a full range of cardiac test, but everything came back normal. But I steadily began to get worse dizziness, weakness, shaking, blurred vision, lose of weight, etc. To make a long story short. After years of medical testing, hospital stays, etc. They finally found the answer. The first episode I back in 1999 was a panic attack and all the physical symptoms I was experiencing were symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Now for your situation it may be different. They are so many things that could cause the symptoms you describe. But here are some things to be aware of. Is your blood pressure normal (120/80 or below). High blood pressure could cause some of these symptoms. It did in my Dad's case. Do you know what your blood sugar level is? if your blood sugar is out of wack it could cause some of the symptoms you mentioned. Did your blood work come back ok? A CBC (complete Blood Count) can give a doc clues as to what is going on. And at the time your symptoms began were you under any kind of stress, Things that could cause anxiety, etc? Continued unaddressed stress and anxiety can mask all sorts of physical symptoms. Find a doc who is willing to listen and spend more than 10-15 minutes examining you. I hope you the best of luck and wish you well. Sorry about such a long post, but I just wanted to give you all the info. I could. GOD BLESS!!

[BRC777]

I am sorry because I went back and re-read your post and I realized I had missed some of what you had written. When you say that your mind has thoughts that you don't know where they come from. This sounds like what I have. Which is a certain kind of anxiety disorder called OCD (obssessive compulsive disorder) in which you have thoughts that are intrusive. They come into your mind and you do not control them and this causes more anxiety and scares the crap out of you (they are unwanted thoughts that you did not control--obsessions). The thoughts make you think you are crazy, but your not. OCD and anxiety disorders result as a chemical and biological abnormality in certain areas of the brain. It sounds like you need to be placed on the right medication to treat your illness. Anxiety, OCD, and Depression can be very debilitating. At one point I was not even able to get out of bed for 4 month. And people do not really understand the situation. Because you look normal and healthy so they expect you to get better overnight, but you are a wreck on the inside both mentally and physically. I live in the United States and I currently take the medication Lexapro (antidepressant), Remeron (antidepressant), and Klonopin (anti-anxiety med). The medications do not cure the problem (there really is no cure), but they do seem to help. I had to try alot of different meds before I found some that provided a little relief. Just hang in there and maybe things will get better.

[stackzone]

Sorry to hear about your problems. RBC mine started at the same time(22) and I am now 29 years old. I have one question, how did they finally prove to you that it is anxiety? Noone had proved that to me yet. They tell me but I have yet to believe them; the symptoms are just tooooo bad to believe anxiety can cause it. To seriously ill, the derealization will go away as soon as your symptoms do ---that seems common in these posts. Hang in there guys!

[smartgal]

Remember, there are many different types of medications. If one doesn't work, they can always try another one. It really does sound like anxiety and worrying about it probably makes it even worse. I get dizzyness from my ears and sinus, but they were able to diagnose it very easily. If you want to just be sure that's not the problem, you can use saline rinses to clear your sinus and dramamine for the dizzyness. If that makes no difference, I'm pretty sure the doctors are correct.