DISORIENTATION AARGH HELP!! lol!

[Katkin]

I had a very bad disorientation attack at college today where things felt and looked REALLY wrong and the direction was all off and things didn't seem familiar while at the same time I knew they were.
It felt like I was going to fall over and lose my balance, but with DIRECTION.

Like I couldn't get my bearings and things were swooping (although they didn't LOOK like they were swooping they just sort of FELT like it.)
It was like walking through a nightmare.

The weird angle the college is built at makes me feel uncomfortable at the best of times but today things were very nasty for me.

It was a bit like when you (well I, and I know some others have) sometimes wake up disorientated and don't know what direction things are - like the bathroom and the windows and it's all panicky for a while until things eventually slot into place and then you still don't feel properly right for a while. But this was when I was fully awake.

I guess because I felt so weird it made me panic which in turn made it worse. *sigh*

I'm SO fed up with this stuff- it's the disorientation that I can't stand. I have really bad earache and burning inside my ears at this moment and am pre-periody which probably doesn't help at all.

My Mum keeps worrying that I might have an ear infection and am just putting my ear pain/feeling poorly down to the usual balancey stuff. Maybe I should get them checked out? I also keep getting a feeling in my sinuses like when you bang your nose or get water up it!

When/after I was feeling so weird I was thinking things like "can this really be due to the inner ear stuff" and "do I have something wrong with my brain" and "am I mad?!" But I have have read a few similar things like (I'm so sorry I can't remember your name) who's starting to drive again - when you felt like you didn't recognise your surroundings for a while. (Aww poor thing *hug*).

Oooooh.....!!!

On a brighter note I have had a few good days over the last couple of weeks which I am HUUUUGELY grateful for!

Hope you're all feeling good!
Katkin
*big healing hugs*

xxxx

[Katkin]

Oh I forgot to say that also one of the reasons that didn't help the disorientation was (and this is going to sound silly) because suddenly the weather had changed to warmer and sunnier and it sort of put a whole new look/feeling to things.
I hate that I am so affected my atmospheres and how places "feel"/look.

Also keep forgetting to say... you know when you have been travelling a long time in a car and as you're falling asleep in bed that night you keep seeing the road before you because you've been looking at it all day? Well a few times as I'm falling asleep on a day I've been to college I see bits of the college and feel like I'm there for a moment before I jolt into being awake! It's like my mind has had to concentrate so fiercly on holding it all safely and trying hard to be calm and orientated when I'm at college that it's still sort of etched in my subconcious as I'm letting go to sleep! Of course it could just be the simple fact I've been thinking about it a lot LOL!

I also tend to have weirder dreams when I'm a bit dizzy (makes sense!) I didn't go to college today and when I went back to sleep this morning I was even having dreams about being disorientated*sigh*! (As I had been drifiting off to sleep I had been worrying about that place at college where I felt so disorientated yesterday and worrying that it'll happen again and even at other places in the college, infact the whole college - where I often feel slightly disorientated). I have to go to college later to sing in an end of term concert. I also have to go in tomorrow to finish/hand some work in.
Although I feel scared about this (well, pretty terrified that I'll feel so BIZARRE again) - I'm also hoping that it won't feel so bad and so make it less scary for me.

Eek! Anyway.. anyone else relate or have any thoughts/ helpful orientating hints?!

Katkin xxx

[Katkin]

Just wanted to add (for any that have been viewing this thread but not commenting LOL) that yaay I did the gig and I also went back in to college today to hand some pieces of work in. Confronted the main disorientation place both times - it still doesn't look comfortable or make exact sense in my mind but it felt better than that huge disorientation I had on Wednesday.

I think that basically I felt so physically poorly and was stressed over deadlines and felt so rough that these factors really didn't help and it was sort of like mental overload!

(Btw the 2 pieces of work I handed in were due in today, so I got them in on the deadline date! There was one more piece that was due in today and I didn't manage to get that one in but I've asked for an extension on it which I think is fair enough as I haven't asked for any extensions yet despite coping with this hideous thing and a lot of the work needs to be done IN college where I don't - as you know - feel completely comfortable! I kind of feel a bit annoyed at myself for needing this extension but hey even the "normal" "healthy" people are struggling with the workload and not getting work in on time!)

Hope you're all feeling happy and not too ill!!!
Katkin xxxx

[unadventurous]

hey Katkin -
Sorry that you're still having disorientation issues, but HOORAY! that you were able to do the gig and you're still able to keep up with your school stuff. When I find an area that gets confusing for me to navigate (like the looooong hallway at work, or even finding the laundry room in my neighborhood ) I just try visit that place as much as possible in an attempt to retrain myself. It's gotten a lot better, at least in the way of anxiety... I try to not let it get the best of me.

And good for you for asking for an extension. One of the things that I've learned since dealing with all this junk is the value of setting limits. It's good to challenge yourself, but also important to stay realistic about what you can accomplish and it what kind of time frame.

It sounds like you're doing really well, even though you may not feel 100%.
Hope you are feeling well today,
Cori

[Katkin]

Aww thank you Cori!

I'm glad that your disorientation as gotten better anxiety wise at least! That's really great !

That makes me feel a little better - sort of less guilty "It's good to challenge yourself, but also important to stay realistic about what you can accomplish and it what kind of time frame." Thank you!

I'm feeling a bit rough - burning ears, infact they almost feel like they are menthol inside like there's an Airwaves or Extra Strong Mint in them LOL! Headachey and tummy achey (girl's things on the way uck!), slightly dizzy and slightly disorientatey (probably DUE to the impending girly thing).
But emotionally I feel quite happy Yay!

Thank you very much for your reply - hope you are feeling good!