Mum diagnosed - kdiney cancer that has spread

boodles · 09-20-2006, 07:59 PM

My mum has just been diagnosed with kidney cancer that has already spread. It is definately in her lymph nodes, the vein that drains the lower part of the body (this also has a blood clot in it) and they say that it has probably spread to the liver, spleen and colon.

There is nothing they can do at this stage except make her comfortable for the time she has left. She is very muddled and forgetful so I do wonder if it has also gone to her brain. She is not eating and is very frail.

They have suggested a time span of 6 months to a year but looking at her I cannot see her lasting that long. It is breaking my heart to see her like this.

She is not only my mother, she is my best friend. Although my husband and children are a great support I am an only child and feel that there is nobody who is going through exactly what I am going through. Except I know that many of the people on this board are doing just that.

She is currently in hospital about 25 miles away (no beds locally). I would love to get her home with us but not sure how we would cope. We are not in a position financially for me to give up work, as much as I want to. They have suggested a 'care package' but I am not sure what that will entail. I will never have a moments peace if she is alone even for a short while.

Sorry to ramble on but I am so worried, and I hate the way that worrying about the practicalities is taking my mind away from what is really important. The fact that I am loosing my beloved mum.

Boodles

sadandscared28 · 09-21-2006, 03:08 PM

Im so sorry about your mom,and sorry you have to go through this.my mom has lung cancer that has spread pretty much everywhere i guess. Right now she is in a hospice house.Do you have anything like that around you? i like it there,it feels more like a home but the nurses etc. are there all the time.
I know how hard this is,my mom is also one of my closest friends.Its so hard to think about my life without her.the hospice has said she prob has a few weeks left.

brighterday · 09-22-2006, 04:58 PM

I am trully sorry to hear this about your mom. I do not know if this can help but I would ask. There is a new medicine that has been found in the last 2 years called "Nexavar". It is used to slow the cancer down. It would be worth the try to ask about it.
My prayers are with you.

Sandy2005 · 09-30-2006, 12:37 PM

Hi, I am from Ireland.
I just want to let you know that my Dad was diagnoised with Kidney cancer in April, there was also parts on his lungs and liver. In the first hostipal he was told to go home and get all his affairs in order and that was that. then he was transfered to a hostipal 2 hours away and put under the care of a very good doc from Czech Republic, he was very positive. He was put on different drugs, and none of them seemed to work, for a while he was getting very forgetful and very weak. Doc thought that the cancer had spread to his brain and in his bones cos his calcium levels were very high. So he done a brain and bone scan. Thankfully there was nothing there. The forgetfullness was due to his high calcium levels and dehydration. So maybe this might be the same with your Mom.
He started a new drug 1 month ago called Suttent, he was the first person in Ireland to go on this drug, again doc was very positive. So far he has been taken off the drug twice cos the side effects are quite bad on him. At the moment he is at home, but getting weaker by the day, he is meant to be going for a scan in 2 weeks time to see if this drug done him any good. I don't think it will be very good though unfortunately.
I'm the baby of the family and am very close to my Dad, and to make things worse, I am expecting my first Child in December, and i don't think that he will be around to see his grandchild. He has 2 other grandkids who he whorpships.
I think all that can be said is that this disease is a pain in the A***.

boodles · 10-13-2006, 09:12 PM

Thank yu all for your replies.

Mum is now in a local hospice and is getting much weaker. Whilst they do not think the end is imminent they think it will only be a matter of a few weeks. She has some pain and suffers teribly from hot flushes which she seems to find harder to bear than the pain.

I am so sorry to hear about your problems and you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Boodles