new boyfriend's old online profile- admit I saw it?

bulletproof · 01-14-2007, 03:41 PM

If you start dating someone, do you tell them that you found his online profile previous to dating each other? I would have told him that I found it, but we were only coworkers at that point and I didn't want to embarrass him or make him uncomfortable. Now that we are dating, do I admit that I saw it? He is on the same service as my roommate, which is how I came across it to begin with. What would you do?

brainchild · 01-14-2007, 07:04 PM

MAybe wait for a bit until you are more comfortable with each other, and just explain that you came across it by coincidence through someone else, i think maybe if you bring it up too early he may feel like you are trying to interogate him on his past? And if you do comment on it wait until a suitable conversation comes up, like not out of the blue or else he may be like HUH have you been thinking about this for ages?

thats my 2p worth anyways!

Hoop · 01-14-2007, 07:28 PM

He put his profile out there for everyone to see. That's the idea in the first place. Why do you think he would be embarrassed or feel uncomfortable about it if someone were to see it. Did your roommate who you say is/was on the same service ever express a feeling of embarrassment about his or her profile?

If you are the one having doubts about this, you should not bring it up at all any time soon. If you do bring it up later on and he is living up to his profile and you approve, let him know and complement him about it.

HOOP! (Just getting rid of my wooden nickles worth)

bulletproof · 01-14-2007, 10:09 PM

I guess I just figured he'd be embarrassed because he's sort of a private guy, and he's also, technically speaking, my boss. But you are right, he put it out there for all to see.

He's definitely living up to what he wrote so far. He made no grand claims or anything like that. It was actually quite honest and sweet.

My roommate has said that there's no reason for me to ever tell him. For some reason, that feels deceitful to me.

Thanks for your input!

rosequartz · 01-15-2007, 10:52 AM

I'd send an anonomous message to the profile and see if he responds.