Hello all I am a 44 year old male with some serious problems, A short insite into my life, I was diagnosed with Klinefelters syndrom when I was 25 years old, and really havent ever come to terms with it, being Depressed most of the time I hit the bottle a lot back then, and it didnt really help, I was drunk all the time, I was in a sales position in a large store with targets to meet so part of the drinking I put down to stress, about 10 years ago I had a severe bout of depresion, and left the job stopped drinking and started to, what I thought, rebuild my life away from the bottle.
All was going well till about 3 years ago when I was involved with a lot of community projects and learning new skills, (Volunteering for anything and everything), like how to use a computer mainly because by this time me and my wife had undergone fertility treatment and we had a baby girl, who when she went to school would be using computers, it was decided one of us would have to learn how to use one?
It was me who went back to school to learn, I took to it like a duck to water, real easy, then BANG my world came crashing down once again big time, full police raid on our home thanks too some b****** .
Went through another big bout of major depression and although no charges were brought against us and also no appologie I may add, Just a "get on with your life" it took 3 months before we got our posessions back from the police.
But over the last year I have been unable to sleep have been checking things like if I have locked the house up not once but about 5 or 9 times with everything I do? I have become really irratable over very small things that I wouldnt even have blinked at in the past? I am biting my wifes head off over things that are trivial, I am unable to get a full nights sleep and spend many a night click click clicking links on the comp mostly porn, I have felt as if my brain is in overload with racing thoughts fleeting from one thing till the next, a totall inability to concentrate on anything, I have started seeing things which other people dont see? I want to be there for my daughter, she is the world for me, I will do anything for her, but sometimes I cant stand being in the same room as her? I feel panicy and scared a lot of the time and can spend hours doing nothing, If I go out of the house I feel as though people are staring at me and I become aggresive towards them, this is totally out of my nature and is not me.
The doc has said I am suffering from Depression and has put me on Fluoxitine and a sleeping tablet to help me sleep (Zimovane), I have not told the doc that I have been having dreams of o/d ing or smahing the car into a tree, I dont want to be classed as going mad. But feel as though I am.
Could this be anything else??? does anyone else feel this way?
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