Waiting for Dad's death

[Snuzie]

My father has stomach cancer and has stopped eating and is only drinking a bit. I have no idea how much longer he'll survive and its driving me crazy. He thinks he only has days but I'm thinking he's active and drinking some so he may be around for awhile. I feel like I'm just waiting for him to die. I don't live in the same state so I'd have to fly to be with him. I feel like I can't plan anything, I don't accept invitations...My family (husband and kids) had a vacation to Hawaii planned and I feel like I should cancel. My life is on hold and I can't live like this. Any suggestions? This sounds horrible like I'm hoping he won't last long but I adore my dad and wish he would live as long as possible.

[Snuzie]

Originally Posted by Snuzie

My father has stomach cancer and has stopped eating and is only drinking a bit. I have no idea how much longer he'll survive and its driving me crazy. He thinks he only has days but I'm thinking he's active and drinking some so he may be around for awhile. I feel like I'm just waiting for him to die. I don't live in the same state so I'd have to fly to be with him. I feel like I can't plan anything, I don't accept invitations...My family (husband and kids) had a vacation to Hawaii planned and I feel like I should cancel. My life is on hold and I can't live like this. Any suggestions? This sounds horrible like I'm hoping he won't last long but I adore my dad and wish he would live as long as possible.

[BreeP]

I would strongly suggest going NOW and seeing him while he's alive. That's the most important thing. He needs to feel your love. I don't know your situation but he has to be scared. Being there now is the most important thing.

My FIL has stage IV colon cancer and he's also at the end. He is unable to eat and drinks little. The cancer has basically blocked his intestines and he looks like he's starving to death. We called hospice in and he is back home with plenty of meds for the pain. It's so stressful. I know how you feel about that. Not knowing and having it consume you. I've been crying so much lately. We live with him to take care of him so we've seen him wither away slowly and now the past 2 weeks have been hell. Every day he looks worse/different due to the extreme weight loss.

Please be there for him.

[NaturalPeace]

Snuzie,

I understand how you feel. My dad is in the end stages of life. Not sure how close or how long. I am caring for him and watching his weight go down, his eating and drinking less and he is sleeping more and more.

I hate watching him go thru this, to start to become a shell of the man he had been my whole life. But I have found great peace in his final stages of life and in the thought that soon he will be pain free and with his brother.

I agree with BreeP; you need to get out and see him while he is still on the earth. The great comfort I have found in helping my dad so out weights the sorrow I have in his coming death.

I do have the same feelings of he should just get it done now. I feel bad when I have them, but I remind myself it is a normal feeling when someone we love is in pain. And I do truly believe that great peace is waiting for him once he lets go of his body.

My thoughts are with you and your family,
Natural Peace

[courtenaynt]

I left my job, canceled my vacations and went to be with my mother for six weeks to care for her and be with her when she died.

I will never ever regret every day, no matter how sad and painful. You can't go back to that. You can go to Hawaii another time, but you don't want to have regrets after it's too late.

Losing a parent is part of life and I think it's important to make time in your life to deal with it.

I understand it's difficult to put your life on hold. I was in denial for weeks about Mom's condition and refused to face it and kept trying to put off going (I also live in a different state).

You don't want to have regrets, and you want your dad to know how much you love him and how much his life means to you.