Latest Fad is having a baby at 18??

[user33]

So I live in a town, that has 39,994 people in it, roughly, and all my friends, and girls I know of the ages, 18-20 are popping out babies left and right. None of them are married, and none have had long commited relationships, But eventually do try working it out with the dad., and most if not all dont live in their own house, or end up living in a average $60,000 dollar home after the baby is born.


My thing is, I have been with my boyfriend since I was fifteen besides a 9 month break up in our 5th year of dating, I am now almost 21, and I feel like maternal instincts are kicking in to try and conceive. Being around my friends and their kids, and hearing about girls having babies bugs me, I feel like I am running out of time almost.

I recently just changed my college major to pre-veterinary. While veterinary school takes a whole lot to just get into, that will put me into four years of veterinary school, and I havent even finished ten courses for the under graduate course work.

I really want to accomplish something in my life that I am passionate about, I love animals, and I love finding ways to keep them healthy, and find cures, and solve health issues so that an animal can continue to live a happy and long life.

Although my want to have a baby is very strong now, I hear that having a child willl put a woman out of the "working" or "schooling" mode, without a sitter, which can be expensive.

Can someone please give me some advice, and what I can do about my feelings?

I want my life to be that family is more important, than money, but I don't want to struggle for money either with my future family.

My boyfriend is not enrolled in college, but is working, only getting paid like 9.50 an hour though, and I dont work at all, because I am in school.

I just feel like being almost 30 years old is too old to have a baby, will someone please help me out?? I think my emotions are a spiraling mess.

Sorry if I posted in the wrong area.

[Xant]

Ahh goodness, 30 is not too old, women are having babies into their 40's nowadays!

It's your hormones I think, they are telling you to reproduce, but try using your head to fight them. You really need a secure financial basis for a child, or it will be very tough.

Also, if you dont 'live your dream' you might well resent becoming a mother.

You have plenty of time, go out and do what you want to do (becoming a vet is an awesome choice), then, when you're ready financially and emotionally, you can start thinking about kids

[JinL]

#1 get the BS first, then re-think the baby issue.
#2 get the BS first, then re-think the baby issue.

You must be able to support a baby on your own for 18 years. That is the way to be safe & not have to settle for abuse to live.

[wholegrain]

In my experience, the maternal instinct comes and goes with most women, and being around a lot of other people who are having babies definitely stimulates it. When one of my best friends got pregnant at 19 two years ago, I remember telling her mother at the hospital during the birth, "I'm going to start trying just as soon as my wedding is over!". I was 20. Now I am 22 and have been married a year, and when I look back at that, I think "Oh my God, was I freaking crazy?". I am so FAR from being ready to have a kid.

But when that urge does creep in, I just have to ride it out. We all do. To help assauge the mommy desire, I borrow one of my friend's babies for a day, or my godson/nephew. And trust me, nothing makes the reality of having a child set in more than actually being around one.

Just because you FEEL ready doesn't mean you ARE ready. If you're anything like me, your emotions can work overtime and pull more weight than your logic. But that doesn't mean you have to make decisions based on them. My therapist always says this:

Live by your choices, and your emotions will get in line. But live by your emotions and you'll never get to make choices.

[Bluesy]

Definately go to school and get all that over with before considering a child. Like you said you don't work, so would the father be willing to pay for everything? I don't think so. Get your education first!! Do you want to be going to school when your 40? Nope! (Not that there's anything wrong with going to school at the age of 40) But if you can get it over with now then do it. THEN think about having a baby. Let those other girls do their things with their babies and you do yours. Don't you want to own a house before you have a baby? You don't want to have the baby living with you and both of parents do you? Think about it first! You'll be glad you did.

Sorry if this seemed a little harsh, but you should know the truth. Good luck girl!!