ill try to keep this as short as possible while still including everything that happened over the 5 1/2 years.
-started dating when we were 16
-few months later i discovered love notes to another guy. i lost trust in her but figured we were young so who cares
-after a year or so we have an argument, i tell her to leave me alone, she messes around with some guy. I make things right again.
-year or so later she meets a guy in her class for depression. another fight, she leaves and stays with this guy for a week. I make things right again.
-after that we were both very controlling and never allowed each other to go out with friends as we both lived with my parents.
-i see a weird website in my internet history and since im the only one that used the computer, i checked it out. she wrote about how she had fun at the bar with some guy and she loves him. meanwhile she was "at her grandparents" for the night
-ill admit we had a big argument and i pushed her pretty hard when she wouldnt get out of my face after i told her many times to leave me alone.
-after 4 years im really unhappy and start visiting dating sites. she finds out i was talking to other women. forgives me and my intentions were to find someone else.
-last october im talking to my best friends new girlfriend on msn. my gf thinks its some chick im trying to hook up with and flips out.
-smacks me very hard on the back of the head. i turn around and calmy tell her to get all her stuff out for good. she smacks me again, i push her away from me and then yell to get all her stuff out.
-couple months go by and we talk again. spend the weekend house sitting together and talk about family, marriage, etc. alot of sex.
-i go out of town for the week and get a text saying she isnt sure what she wants. when i get back i deliver flowers to her work and tell her how sorry i am for being so immature over the years.
-few weeks later im on a date when i get a call from the ex asking what im up to. i tell her im with a friend. she snaps and says all kinds of crap. lol she was sitting behind us with her friends watchin us play around a little bit in my truck
tell her its none of her business what i do anymore.
-about a week later i find out she is now dating one of the guys she was with that night in the parking lot.
-about a month ago she says she wants to be friends and try to work things out. i tell her i cant work things out with her knowing that she is going home to sleep with this guy afterwards. tells me about how he isnt good in bed, not sure why?
-when i drop her off she says she will always love me and i had to pull away from the hug becauase she wouldnt let go. she was teary eyed and had that look like she wanted a kiss but i was scared. not sure of what though. im angry now because that may have been my last chance
-she constantly asks who i'm dating and who is going to live with me in the house i had just bought.
-about 2-3 weeks ago i ask her if she wants to grab a coffee and she says shes at her bf's house. little did she know that i had just drove by her place as its on the way to my house from my parents
so i ask a bunch of questions and she tells nothing but lies. i tell her i know she is lying and she gets angry.
-her bf has a problem with me for unknown reasons and threatens to beat me up, make my life hell, etc. i laugh, makes him more angry. i love dealing with idiots.
-didnt talk to her at all until yesterday when i took her some mail that came here. i disconnected my cell phone so nobody could get ahold of me and she said she had called a couple times wanting to talk and that i should come see her more often.
-she says that he was trying to be like me. not sure what she meant but i told her not to make the same mistakes and i just want her to be happy.
-i tell her i dont want to cause problems between them and im sorry if i have caused any. i know i havent i just wanna be on her good side.
ive dated alot of great women since i gave her the boot in october but i just cant connect with another woman. when im with them i think about the ex and i cant think of being with another woman, even though a couple of them are great.
ive definatly grown up and changed alot of things about me and want to give it one last shot but how should i go about this? they live together and obviously he wont like her spending time with me. i want to try one last time because i know if it still doesnt work, then ill move on.
how often should i have contact with her? should i talk about getting back together or just have conversations about other things for a while? i want to get the point across that i know ive screwed up and ill treat her differently, but i dont want to push her away. i feel that the longer it takes for me to explain myself to her, the closer she will get to him.
i also have a gut feeling that he was just a rebound guy that turned to be serious. im still at my parents house until my house renovations are done and i truly feel that she is going to wait until i move into my house to start seeing me again. her and my mom have had some nasty arguments and she definatly wont live here again.
start calling her and letting her know how i feel and what i want? dont have any contact and just wait and see what happens?
ill explain that part the best i can. ive had many partners since october and a few of them were alot better at "performing" than the ex. but it was still 100x better with her because i actually love her...even if she wasnt putting in a good effort.
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